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Importance of Education in modern generation

Importance of Education in modern generation kjgoN
According to the recent survey education level system and level has changed dramatically compared to our parents generation. When we look at our parent’s generation time period they didn’t have enough resources compared to us. I basically think that 2000 born generation are so lucky to have all facilities. Our parent’s generation time the competition also less compared to now and that allowed them to shine off with their skills and education qualification on the other side when it comes to our genertaion it’s so competitive and mostly everyone’s educated. As I mentioned above today’s competition has led to higher educated percentage than our parent’s generation. When we get deep into education English knowledge is vital and must in the society and even for higher studies in overseas foreign universities requests for English knowledge certificate. These days a student will be done with his/ her masters by their 25 or 26 on the other side our parents would have completed their Masters by late 30’s. In order to survive this competitive environment I would that current generation should work on their education side and professional skill side as well.
According to the recent survey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
level system and level has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
dramatically
compared to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
generation.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
we look at our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
generation time period they didn’t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
resources compared to us. I
basically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that 2000 born generation are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
lucky to have all facilities. Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
generation time the competition
also
less compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
them to shine off with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
qualification on the other side when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to our
Possible spelling mistake found.
genertaion
it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
competitive and
The phrase 'mostly everyone' is colloquial. In formal/ written English you should avoid it. Use "almost everyone" instead!
mostly everyone
’s educated.

“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
I mentioned above
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s competition has led to higher educated percentage than our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
generation. When we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
deep into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
English knowledge is vital and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
in the society and even for higher studies in overseas foreign universities requests for English knowledge certificate.

These days a student will
be done
with his/ her masters by their 25 or 26 on the other side our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
would have completed their Masters by late
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "30s".
30’s
. In order to survive this competitive environment I would that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation should work on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
side and professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
side
as well
.
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IELTS essay Importance of Education in modern generation

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
189 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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