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Many young people in the workforce today change their jobs or careers every few years. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Many young people in the workforce today change their jobs or careers every few years. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Y25k5
In recent years, there has been a growing trend among youngsters to change professions frequently. I think that this tendency is entirely beneficial in our long-term life, despite particular unfavorable aspects which I will explain in this essay. Admittedly, there are a number of advantages of acquiring a new job. Firstly, high salary s the most common reason for deciding to change job which can help to enhance our standard of living. For instance making a killing can allow covering our basic needs and at the same time provides the key to spend the surplus in fulfilling one’s dreams like buying cars, homes, and another luxury lifestyle. Secondly, switching jobs might be helped to learn new skills that completed those people have already developed. It makes a well-rounded and competent employee and gives additional chances to grow. Although, converting careers has many advantages it is also important to be aware of the potential disadvantages. One problem with converting jobs is that people might overcome some difficulties for adapting to a new working environment and a new corporate culture, for new atmosphere might not be fit in with job hoppers characteristics. Another downside is that job switchers might suffer from financial problems due to not stable income. To exemplify, if people get fired after a rather short period, they may have to get into debt to cover their expenses. In conclusion, people change their careers due to positives like high levels of income and personal growth while there are still some risks related to it. I believe that the merits of this trend have more than compensated for the disadvantages.
In recent years, there has been a growing trend among youngsters to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
professions
frequently
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this tendency is
entirely
beneficial in our long-term life, despite particular unfavorable aspects which I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in this essay.

Admittedly
, there are a number of advantages of acquiring a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Firstly
, high salary s the most common reason for deciding to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to enhance our standard of living.
For instance
making a killing can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
covering our basic needs and at the same time provides the key to spend the surplus in fulfilling one’s dreams like buying cars, homes, and another luxury lifestyle.
Secondly
, switching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that completed those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have already developed. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a well-rounded and competent employee and gives additional chances to grow.

“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, converting careers has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages it is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to be aware of the potential disadvantages. One problem with converting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
overcome
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties for adapting to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
working environment and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
corporate culture, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
atmosphere
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not
be fit
in with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
hoppers characteristics. Another downside is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
switchers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
suffer from financial problems due to not stable income. To exemplify, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fired after a
rather
short period, they may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into debt to cover their expenses.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their careers due to positives like high levels of income and personal growth while there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
related to it. I believe that the merits of this trend have more than compensated for the disadvantages.
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IELTS essay Many young people in the workforce today change their jobs or careers every few years. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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