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Many young people find their first day at school difficult because they feel very alone. What do you think are the other difficulties they face on their first day? What can schools do to make them feel more comfortable?

Many young people find their first day at school difficult because they feel very alone. What do you think are the other difficulties they face on their first day? What can schools do to make them feel more comfortable? 0nJj5
I think the students also face a lot of problems like they can't find their classes on the first day at school and they can't locate their classrooms or their teachers. What I think the school should do is to tell the students and the teachers to come to school in 3 days before the school start and the school administration should present the students to each other and the teachers too. Schools should organize orientation sessions starting from the very first day as this would help all newcomers. This would make students feel more at home. Another important fact that new students face is their feeling of independence.
I
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think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
also
face
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a lot of
problems like they can't find their classes on the
first
day at
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
school and
they can't locate their classrooms or their teachers.

What I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
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school
should do is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
the
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students
and the teachers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in 3 days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
administration should present the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to each other and the teachers too.

Schools should organize orientation sessions starting from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
first
day as this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
all newcomers. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
feel more at home. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
fact that new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
face is their feeling of independence.
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IELTS essay Many young people find their first day at school difficult because they feel very alone. What do you think are the other difficulties they face on their first day? What can schools do to make them feel more comfortable?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
109 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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