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Many working woken people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result.What can be done about this problem?

Many working woken people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. What can be done about this problem? 7pJwX
Having an unhealthy body and getting sort of disease are a caused of widespread concern today, so many people tend to organise thier lifestyle. There are number of problems that people suffer as a result of these issues. But also same straight for world measure we can take to survive ourselves. Perhaps, the most problem stemming from this is the long working hours impact on lifestyle. Even if you can avoid the consequences lake of enough knowledge about calorie intake can damage health. A further problem is that some of individuals are used to avoiding working out at office when they have a break time. Because it is said that they are too busy with their job and they found it boring. That's why they need to eat fruit and drink tea this short time to get energy to continue thier work. Finally there is the problem from coming back home, they prefer to watch programs TV and play video games rather than physically activity. Turning to possible solution, probably the most effective measure is the government should increase the knowledge about how to live better and it has noticed that unhealthy food can bring about a lot of problems such as obesity, heart disease Diabets. Furthermore, the government have to encourage people to work out at least a couple of time a week. In addition, employers can provide perfect facilities such as treadmill, bike, dumbbell at company and workers are able to use it when they are free.
Having an unhealthy body and getting sort of disease are a caused of widespread concern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
lifestyle. There are number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffer
as a result
of these issues.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
also
same straight for world measure we can take to survive ourselves.

Perhaps, the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
stemming from this is the long working hours impact on lifestyle.
“Even if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Even if
you can avoid the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "consequences'" or "consequence's"?
consequences
lake of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
knowledge about calorie intake can damage health. A
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that
After 'some of', you should use 'the' ("some of the individuals") or simply say "some individuals".
some of individuals
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to avoiding working out at office when they have a break time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it
is said
that they are too busy with their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
job and
they found it boring. That's why they need to eat fruit and drink tea this short time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
energy to continue
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
work.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
there is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
from coming back home, they prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
programs TV and play video games
rather
than
physically
activity.

Turning to possible solution,
probably
the most effective measure is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should increase the knowledge about how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
better and it has noticed that unhealthy food can bring about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as obesity, heart disease
Possible spelling mistake found.
Diabets
.

Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to work out at least a couple of time a week.
In addition
, employers can provide perfect facilities such as treadmill, bike, dumbbell at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and workers are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it when they are free.
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IELTS essay Many working woken people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. What can be done about this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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