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Fast food also can be unhealthy

Fast food also can be unhealthy PXgB2
Nowadays, numerous people around the world are unhealthy because of the eating fast food like pizza and Hamburger, they are believing that the fast food provides enough enjoyment, save time, and helps the economy. In my opinion, people should have limit eating fast food special for children so they can also enjoy and save times sometimes in this way. In this essay, I am going to explain the advantages and the disadvantages related to health and can make fast food unhealthy. On the one hand, it is true that fast food like hamburgers and pizzas are quicker and delicious too. Therefore, it appreciates for busy people who have full schedule, so its good choice without spending too much time for making food or washing dishes. In addition, fast food usually is cheaper than normal food. On the other hand, the people they like to eat healthy food they should avoid eating fast food or just maybe some special situation like party or when they are late, and they don’t have time. Because ingredients of pizza and hamburger are unhealthy, they have large amount of oil, and they can make you easily overweight and get large amount of cholesterol that means destroyed our hearts and liver. In my opinion, fast food can make you lazy and sometimes get bored, why I said that because if you used to just order and eat fast food you will be addicted in fast food and you will choose always easiest way to get food, because I think its fun if try to make food sometimes. In conclusion, fast food has disadvantages like become overweight and get heart and liver problem but eating fast food in order to save time and helps economy it’s an advantage of fast food. I think people can just have limit for eating fast food then also, can still enjoy on special situation.
Nowadays, numerous
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people
around the world are unhealthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
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eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
like pizza and Hamburger, they
The verb 'believing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are believing
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
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food
provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
enjoyment, save
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time
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the economy. In my opinion,
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people
should have limit
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eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
special for children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
also
enjoy and save
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times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
in this way. In this essay, I am going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the advantages and the disadvantages related to health and can
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make
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fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
unhealthy.

On the one hand, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
like hamburgers and pizzas are quicker and delicious too.
Therefore
, it appreciates for busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have full schedule,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
choice without spending too much
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time
for making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
or washing dishes.
In addition
,
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fast
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food
usually
is cheaper than normal food.

On the other hand
, the
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people
they like to eat healthy
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food
they should avoid
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eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
maybe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special situation like party or when they are late, and they don’t have
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time
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
ingredients of pizza and hamburger are unhealthy, they have large amount of oil, and they can
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make
you
easily
overweight and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
large amount of cholesterol that means
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
our hearts and liver. In my opinion,
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fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can
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make
you lazy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bored, why I said that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
order and eat
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fast
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food
you will
be addicted
in
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fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and you will
The adverb 'always' is usually put before the verb 'choose'.
choose always
A determiner is probably missing here: "the easiest".
easiest
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
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food
,
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because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
its fun if try to
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make
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food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
.

In conclusion
,
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fast
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food
has disadvantages like become overweight and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
heart and liver problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in order to save
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time
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
economy it’s an advantage of
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fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
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people
can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
have limit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
then
also
, can
still
enjoy on special situation.
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IELTS essay Fast food also can be unhealthy

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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