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Nowadays culture is much the same all around the world when compared to previous times. Do you think this a positive or negative development? v.3

Nowadays culture is much the same all around the world when compared to previous times. Do you think this a positive or negative development? v. 3
IN RECENT TIMES CUSTOMS ARE VERY SIMILAR GLOBALLY IN COMPARISM TO THE OLDEN DAYS, WHICH IS DUE TO SERIES OF EVENTS THAT IN MY OPINION HAS CAUSED MORE HARM THAN GOOD. ONE POINT TO CONSIDER IS IN ANCIENT TIMES THERE WERE ALOT OF FARMING WHICH ENABLED PEOPLE IN THE SOCIETY HAVE ACCES TO FRESH FRUITS AND VEGETABLES. THEREBY, RAISING PLUMP AND HEALTHY OFFSPRINGS. PRESNTLY, ITS NOT THE CASE BECAUSE A VAST MAJORITY DEPEND ON IMPORTED INORGANIC SUPPLIES. ADMITTEDLY, FRESHLY GROWN FOODS HELPED EVADE MANY DISEASES AND MAINTAIN LIVES, UNLIKE THE FOREIGN FOODS WHICH IS ONE OF THE KNOWN CAUSES OF CANCER. FOR EXAMPLE, OUR FOREFATHERS MADE USE OF UNORTHODOX MEDICINE LIKE HERBS AND OILS FOR TREATMENT AND DURING SUCH TIME THERE WERE LITTLE OR NO RECORDS OF CANCER AND OTHER DEBILITATING DISEASES. ANOTHER POINT TO CONSIDER IS THAT THE WESTERN CULTURE HAS A HUGE INFLUENCE ON YOUTHS NEGATIVELY THAT NOWADAYS THEY HOLD LOW REGARDS FOR THEIR HISTORY. HOWEVER, IT IS DUE TO THE FACT THAT THEY WERE BORN IN THE MILLENIUM IN WHICH MOST OF THIS ARTIFACTS WERE NOWHERE TO BE SEEN BECAUSE OF THE COLONIZATION WHICH LED TO THE DESTROYING OF MOST OF THE ARTIFACTS BY THE WESTERNERS. THEREFORE, GIVING THE PLACE A NEW LOOK. IN ADDITIONAL, SUCH NEW DEVELOPMENT BROUGHT WITH IT CHRISTIANITY AND THE TEACHES OF JESUS. CONSEQUENTLY, MAKING TRADITIONAL BELIEF A THING OF THE PAST. FURTHERMORE, EMBIBING OF NEW WAYS OF LIFE MADE NATIONS LOSE THEIR UNIQUENESS. IN CONCLUSION, SOME OF THE PROBLEMS THE SOCIETY FACE LIKE POOR HEALTH, LACK OF HISTORICAL BUILDINGS AND MISPLACED IDENTITY ARE THE MANY DOWNSIDES BROUGHT ABOUT BY MODERNIZATION.
IN RECENT TIMES CUSTOMS ARE
VERY
SIMILAR GLOBALLY IN
COMPARISM
TO THE OLDEN DAYS, WHICH IS DUE TO SERIES OF
EVENTS
THAT IN MY OPINION HAS CAUSED MORE HARM THAN
GOOD
.

ONE POINT TO CONSIDER IS IN ANCIENT TIMES THERE WERE
ALOT
OF FARMING WHICH ENABLED
PEOPLE
IN THE SOCIETY HAVE
ACCES
TO FRESH FRUITS AND VEGETABLES. THEREBY, RAISING PLUMP AND HEALTHY
OFFSPRINGS
.
PRESNTLY
, ITS NOT THE CASE
BECAUSE
A VAST MAJORITY DEPEND ON IMPORTED INORGANIC SUPPLIES.

ADMITTEDLY
,
FRESHLY
GROWN FOODS
HELPED
EVADE
MANY
DISEASES AND MAINTAIN
LIVES
, UNLIKE THE FOREIGN FOODS WHICH IS ONE OF THE KNOWN CAUSES OF CANCER.

FOR EXAMPLE
, OUR FOREFATHERS MADE
USE
OF UNORTHODOX MEDICINE LIKE HERBS AND OILS FOR TREATMENT AND DURING SUCH TIME THERE WERE
LITTLE
OR NO RECORDS OF CANCER AND OTHER DEBILITATING DISEASES.

ANOTHER POINT TO CONSIDER IS THAT THE WESTERN CULTURE HAS A HUGE INFLUENCE ON YOUTHS
NEGATIVELY
THAT NOWADAYS THEY HOLD LOW REGARDS FOR THEIR HISTORY.

HOWEVER
, IT IS DUE TO THE FACT THAT THEY
WERE BORN
IN THE
MILLENIUM
IN WHICH MOST OF
THIS
ARTIFACTS WERE NOWHERE TO BE
SEEN
BECAUSE
OF THE COLONIZATION WHICH LED TO THE DESTROYING OF MOST OF THE ARTIFACTS BY THE WESTERNERS.

THEREFORE
, GIVING THE PLACE A NEW LOOK.

IN ADDITIONAL, SUCH NEW DEVELOPMENT BROUGHT WITH IT CHRISTIANITY AND THE TEACHES OF JESUS.

CONSEQUENTLY
, MAKING TRADITIONAL BELIEF A THING OF THE PAST.

FURTHERMORE
,
EMBIBING
OF NEW WAYS OF LIFE MADE NATIONS LOSE THEIR UNIQUENESS.

IN CONCLUSION
,
SOME OF THE
PROBLEMS THE SOCIETY FACE LIKE POOR HEALTH, LACK OF HISTORICAL BUILDINGS AND MISPLACED IDENTITY ARE THE
MANY
DOWNSIDES BROUGHT ABOUT BY MODERNIZATION.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays culture is much the same all around the world when compared to previous times. Do you think this a positive or negative development? v. 3

Essay
  American English
11 paragraphs
268 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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