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many university graduates cannot find job related to their chosen profession

many university graduates cannot find job related to their chosen profession G0nw
Finding a job in their chosen profession is one of the most problems of university graduates these day. One of the main causes of these problems is that the students are lack of experience on their chosen field, furthermore the employers are also not recognizing the students who are lack of experience. It is hard for those students to face the realty waiting in the real world. Universities did not informed university graduates what are the possible problems that are waiting for them about finding employers or job after graduation. Students who have a lot of experience and expertise in their chosen field while studying have the advantage to survive finding an employment rather than for those students who are not competent in their chosen field. Some of the key factors to consider to solve these problems are First, the university must tie up to some employer by creating job fairs to prioritize fresh graduates students who are lack of experience, For instance, in the IT industry, they require university graduates to have one or more years of experience for them to hire. If the university do tie up to some prospective companies, the students can have a work related to their chosen fields rather than working on other field in order to get a job. Second, the companies must have available slot for those fresh graduates in their company. In conclusion, The best way for this problem to be resolved involved the government, higher educational institutions and possible employers to co-operate and work for a win-win solution for all parties involved.
Finding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in their chosen profession is one of the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
Did you mean "this day" or "these days"?
these day
. One of the main causes of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
on their chosen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
,
furthermore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
are
also
not recognizing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to face the realty waiting in the real world.

Universities did not
The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: "inform"
informed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
what are the possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that are waiting for them about finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
or
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job
after graduation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and expertise in their chosen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
while studying have the advantage to survive finding an employment
rather
than for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are not competent in their chosen field.

If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
key factors to
The verb 'consider' is used with the gerund form: "consider solving".
consider to solve
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are
First
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
tie up to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
by creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
fairs to prioritize fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
,
For instance
, in the IT industry, they require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
to have one or more years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
for them to hire. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
do tie up to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prospective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can have a work related to their chosen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
rather
than working on other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Second, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have available slot for those fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

In conclusion
, The best way for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
to
be resolved
involved the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, higher educational institutions and possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
to co-operate and work for a win-win solution for all parties involved.
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IELTS essay many university graduates cannot find job related to their chosen profession

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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