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Many universities students live with their families, while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both situations?

Many universities students live with their families, while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both situations? GObg
When preparing to enter universities, students often wonder between choosing the school close to home to live with their parents or in the dormitory where the school they attend. Both situations have their benefits and drawbacksm this essay will discuss about it. On the one hand, there are several benefits of living with families when going to local universities. An important benefit is that students can reduce the financial burden of being with parents. They no longer have to worry about expenses such as electricity bills, water bills, rent or money spent on food and necessities every day. Families can share these burden with them so they can focus on their studies and improve their personal achivement. Nevertheless, staying at home may limit students's external social relationships. They have to live by standard family rules, sometime losing their privacy and making them feel uncomfortable. On the one hand, living away from home can provide students with valuable experiences. When living alone they have to know how to take care of themselves, which trains them to be independent. Through the period of free time living alone they can accumulate a lot of experiences as well as skills, which will help in future work. Besides, there is also no denying the difficulties when living away from home, such as the fact that they have to face economic pressures from tuition fees to expenses to cover daily life. Not to mention that they are affected mentally such as loneliness, homesickness or stress due to pressure from study as well as daily life. In conclusion, both mentioned situations could result in benefits and shortcomings. Therefor, tertiary students consider carefully to make the best decision for their future study.
When preparing to enter universities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
wonder between choosing the school close to home to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their parents or in the dormitory where the school they attend. Both situations have their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
drawbacksm
this essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss it"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about it
. On the one hand, there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with families when going to local universities. An
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the financial burden of being with parents. They no longer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about expenses such as electricity bills, water bills, rent or money spent on food and necessities every day. Families can share these burden with them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can focus on their studies and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their personal
Possible spelling mistake found.
achivement
.
Nevertheless
, staying at home may limit
Did you mean "student's" or "students'"?
students's
external social relationships. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
by standard family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
, sometime losing their privacy and making them feel uncomfortable. On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
away from home can provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with valuable experiences. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
alone they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
know how to take care of themselves, which trains them to be independent. Through the period of free time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
alone they can accumulate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
experiences
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in future work.
Besides
, there is
also
no denying the difficulties when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
away from home, such as the fact that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face economic pressures from tuition fees to expenses to cover daily life. Not to mention that they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
mentally such as loneliness, homesickness or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
due to pressure from study
as well
as daily life.
In conclusion
, both mentioned situations could result in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
and shortcomings. Therefor, tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
consider
carefully
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the best decision for their future study.
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IELTS essay Many universities students live with their families, while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both situations?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
284 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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