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Many Teenagers now have their own smartphone. what adv / disad of this + opinion?

Many Teenagers now have their own smartphone. what adv / disad of this + opinion? joGad
Mobile phones becoming a neccevary thing in this contemporary also for not only for teenagers but adults. In my opinion, despite the my prons of having smartphones are more, cons influences average person more frequently The first prominent point is that in this contemporary era, every teenager using mobile phone not only for studies but also for spending their leisure time which makes them lazy. For instance, according to the survey considered spend their goyo оf teenagers it is 90% of teenagers likes to playing games and surfing on internet via smartphone which is the main cause of obesity in childrens. In other words doubt smartphone assists individual on each step such as by providing latest information ar regarding current affairs and become human being schedule most affected and they adopting sedentary life style. Another argument is that smartphones saves by Providing every at me, instead of our time efficiently & Teenages can of lize their free time in the the time they do not do outdoor activities to makes their body fit even they like to use fit, social networking sites instead of doing meditation, exercile which plays an crucial role in then life. To examplify this, Researchers conducted a research that high usage of mobile phones effected mental ability and makes a person unsocialise. In conclusion, no doubt smartphones in current scenario demerits becoming a essential thing but it's overweight the merits of mobile phones.
Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
becoming a
Possible spelling mistake found.
neccevary
thing in this contemporary
also
for not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
adults. In my opinion, despite
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "my prons" or "the prons"?
the my prons
of having smartphones are more, cons influences average person more
frequently


The
first
prominent point is that in this contemporary era, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for spending their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them lazy.
For instance
, according to the survey considered spend their
Possible spelling mistake found.
goyo
A character in 'оf' is not an English character, although it can look like an English character. The character can cause a spelling error and disambiguation errors. Type the word again.
оf
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
it is 90% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
likes to playing games and surfing on internet via smartphone which is the main cause of obesity in
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
.
In other words
doubt smartphone assists individual on each step such as by providing
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
information
Possible spelling mistake found.
ar
regarding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
affairs and become human being schedule most
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
affected and
Did you mean "they're adopting", "they are adopting", or "they were adopting"?
they adopting
sedentary life style. Another argument is that smartphones saves by Providing every at me,
instead
of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
efficiently
&
Possible spelling mistake found.
Teenages can
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
lize
their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they do not do outdoor activities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their body fit even they like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
fit, social networking sites
instead
of doing meditation,
Possible spelling mistake found.
exercile
which plays
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
crucial role in then life. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
examplify
this, Researchers conducted a research that high usage of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
effected mental ability and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a person
Possible spelling mistake found.
unsocialise
.

In conclusion
, no doubt smartphones in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario demerits becoming
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
essential thing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it's overweight the merits of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
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IELTS essay Many Teenagers now have their own smartphone. what adv / disad of this + opinion?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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