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Many studies show that poor people are more likely to be involved in petty and serious crimes than people who come from higher income groups. Do you agree?

Many studies show that poor people are more likely to be involved in petty and serious crimes than people who come from higher income groups. Do you agree? 96noj
Crime should be penalised nomatter which person does it. It has been stated in many studies that the people below the poverty line are more in to performing crimes than the people of higher societies, however I do not agree with this fact and I believe that any person can be a law-breaker. In this essay, I will discuss why it is fact. People always notice the suspicious activities of a less fortunate person but ignores the same for a wealthy person. In many countries where there is a corruption, Rich person easily gets an apology for their crime just by either the power of money or by some political support which encourages the youth to perform those kind of illegal activities. For Instance, Recently a Billionaire Vijay Malya did a scam of billion dollars and flew to other country with the political support and the police did not able to catch him. There are certain types of crimes which are usually being done by people who are unemployed or poor such as chain snatching, robbery and loot at gun point. Some person do this intentionally to buy drugs whereas other are being forced by some culprits or they are given less opportunity by government to earn bread for their family. Due to the fact, they get in to this criminal activities which results in taking them behind the bars. For Instance, Recently it has been in the news that a 18 year old boy performed a robbery in a bank with his friends just to get the medicine for his ill mother. In Conclusion, crimes are not being done on the basis of income group they belongs to. Any person can be a culprit no matter how much they are wealthy or poor. There should be a penalty for every culprit according the type of crime they have done.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'penalised' is British English.
penalised
Possible spelling mistake found.
nomatter
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
does it. It has
been stated
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
studies that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
below the poverty line are more in to performing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
than the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of higher societies,
however
I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this fact and I believe that any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can be a law-breaker. In this essay, I will discuss why it is fact.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
always notice the suspicious activities of a less fortunate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignores
the same for a wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries where there is a corruption, Rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
an apology for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by either the power of money or by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
political support which encourages the youth to perform
Did you mean "this kind" or "those kinds"?
those kind
of illegal activities.
For Instance
, Recently a Billionaire Vijay
Possible spelling mistake found.
Malya
did a scam of billion dollars and flew to other country with the political support and the police did not able to catch him.

There are certain types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
which are
usually
being done
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
are unemployed
or poor such as chain snatching, robbery and loot at gun point.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
Did you mean "people", "persons"?
person
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "does".
do
this
intentionally
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
drugs whereas other are
being forced
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
culprits or
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
less opportunity by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to earn bread for their family. Due to the fact, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in to this criminal activities which results in taking them behind the bars.
For Instance
, Recently it has been in the news that
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
18 year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
boy performed a robbery in a bank with his friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the medicine for his ill mother.

In Conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are not
being done
on the basis of income group they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "belong"
belongs
to. Any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can be a culprit no matter how much they are wealthy or poor. There should be a penalty for every culprit according the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
they have done.
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IELTS essay Many studies show that poor people are more likely to be involved in petty and serious crimes than people who come from higher income groups. Do you agree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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