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advantages and disadvantages of lost family relationship

advantages and disadvantages of lost family relationship GLXaL
One of the dabateful and controversial topic which is discussed so much and has a … importance is bonding between people specially bonding between family members. This essay will argue that the advantages of this outweigh the drawbacks. The following essay will investigate the causes of this and then it will analyses the profits of it from social aspects and problems of the argument from psychologic aspects. The main reason to start people lose their relation with their family is unprecedented development of technology that has caused a huge gap(s) between family members. A good illustration of this is Iran that hasn’t any electronic lifestyle and the bonding between family is steel strong as it was in the past. Moreover, as oxford university research prove (the start of losing the connection in people lifestyle begin in 2000 with beginning of the 21th century that is called technology era. In other words, by using entertaining fancy mobiles or even laptops people are not interest in family gathering and parties. The main advantages of gapes between people could be self-improvement. For people how live alone and haven’t any connection with friends and family or their connection(linkage) downs to making a phone call or video call there is a lot of time during the day for self-improvement. Therefore, in this situation technology is a good tool for people how want to be (alone) and live alone. In the other hand, Reduce the relationship withfamily members could be a main source of mental problems “as psychologic in their research say. Moreover, Live in other city and lost the connection between family members launch them to the path of anti-social behavior because family can nurture and develop the social competencies. From my own experiments, live in a different place and lost connection from our extended and nuclear family lead me to problems that never happened by being with them considering what was said, inasmuch as our lifestyle has been changed, we lost our connection and it become a fact in modern people lifestyles.
One of the
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dabateful
and controversial topic which
is discussed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much and has a … importance is bonding between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
specially
bonding between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
. This essay will argue that the advantages of this outweigh the drawbacks. The following essay will investigate the causes of this and then it will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "analyse"
analyses
the profits of it from social aspects and problems of the argument from
Possible spelling mistake found.
psychologic
aspects.

The main reason to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lose their relation with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is unprecedented
development of technology that has caused a huge gap(s) between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is Iran that hasn’t any electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and the bonding between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is steel strong as it was in the past.
Moreover
, as oxford university research prove
Unpaired symbol: ')' seems to be missing
(
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of losing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connection
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
in 2000 with beginning of the
Please check the suffix, if this is an ordinal number.
21th
century that
is called
technology era.
In other words
, by using entertaining fancy mobiles or even laptops
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
gathering and parties.

The main advantages of gapes between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could be self-improvement. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
alone and haven’t any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connection
with friends and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
or their connection(linkage) downs to making a phone call or video call there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time during the day for self-improvement.
Therefore
, in this situation technology is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
tool for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
how want to be (alone) and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
alone.

In the other hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Reduce
the relationship
Possible spelling mistake found.
withfamily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
could be a main source of mental problems “as
Possible spelling mistake found.
psychologic
in their research say.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Live
in other city and lost the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connection
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
launch them to the path of anti-social behavior
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can nurture and develop the social competencies. From my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experiments,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
place and lost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connection
from our extended and nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
lead me to problems that never happened by being with them

considering what
was said
, inasmuch as our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
, we lost our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connection
and it
Did you mean "becomes"?
become
a fact in modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
.
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IELTS essay advantages and disadvantages of lost family relationship

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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