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many students take part time jobs while studying in university, you think it's a good idea or bad idea.

many students take part time jobs while studying in university, you think it's a good idea or bad idea. 1NjL
Nowadays there is a trend of scholars from universities going for half time jobs to develop different skills and get some pocket money for their daily use. In my opinion it's a fabulous option as it not only develop the qualities of time management and maturity level as it helps them to utilise that heart hard earned money from part time jobs. First and foremost benefit of part time jobs while doing under graduation graduation students get free time in between their studies. So they use that time for doing part time jobs as it makes them well organised in life. More organised a person more properly he or she will manage the time. These part time jobs helps college students to earn some extra money which they could use for their stationeries food and movies. It also develops budgeting skill which help them in future when they have family that would give an additional benefit how to spend the money wisely. For an example a masters student who does a part time job and is going to get married soon in few years can get an experience from the part time job and save money from its from internship it will make them more experience and organised in career. They will stand a high chance of getting a good permanent job. Whereas having a part-time job while taking University education at an additional skill to their CV which will make them ahead of other students who don't have a part-time job experience. As it will shows the interview was that a candidate is capable of taking responsibility is when given to them. Because they gained an experience from paid part time jobs in past it will build a skill of dealing angry client and customers and also teamwork quality. For instance a student from same University one have experience of part time job while other don't have. So company will go for experience candidate as it will benefit company. At last I would like to conclude by saying that when students have free time after studies they could analyse it in half time job and game some experience. However doing part time job is good but not get incline towards money factor instead learn skills and gain experience from it and utilise it in your career.
Nowadays there is a trend of scholars from universities going for half
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pocket
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money
for their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. In my opinion it's a fabulous option as it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
develop the qualities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management and maturity level as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
that heart
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
hard earned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
jobs.

First
and foremost benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
while doing under
Possible typo: you repeated a word
graduation graduation
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students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
free
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time
in between their studies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well organised
in life. More
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
a person more
properly
he or she will manage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for their
Possible spelling mistake found.
stationeries
food and movies. It
also
develops budgeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in future when they have family that would give an additional benefit how to spend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
wisely
. For an example a
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "masters'" or "master's"?
masters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who does a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and is going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
in few years can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from its from internship it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
in career. They will stand a high chance of getting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
permanent job.

“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
having a part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
while taking University education at an additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
to their CV which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them ahead of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who don't have a part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. As it will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "show"
shows
the interview was that a candidate is capable of taking responsibility is when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they gained an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
from paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in past it will build a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
of dealing angry client and customers and
also
teamwork quality.
For instance
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
from same University one have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
while other don't have.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
will go for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
candidate as it will benefit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

At
The comma is probably missing here: "last, I".
last I
would like
to conclude
by saying that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
after studies they could
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
it in half
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and game
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
incline towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
factor
instead
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
from it and
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
it in your career.
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IELTS essay many students take part time jobs while studying in university, you think it's a good idea or bad idea.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
387 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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