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Many People,including highly influential people, turn to spirituality at some point(juncture) in life. What do you think are the reasons? How does their inclination to spirituality affect their lives ?

Many People, including highly influential people, turn to spirituality at some point(juncture) in life. What do you think are the reasons? How does their inclination to spirituality affect their lives? nO0R
Majority of the public and influential people turn to spirituality at the specific point of life. Spirituality is the state of mind that gives energy, power and Knowledge to fight against the negativity around us. In my view, it is necessary to moved to the spirituality after the specific point of life. Spirituality plays a vital role in life. It enhances the confidence, increase positivity around us and boost-up confidence and give us strength to fight against the negativity. It is also improved our standard of living and give us immense power in facing difficulties in doing some work. It enhances the intelligence of the person mind and also help to live life peacefully. Spriituality does not affect the lives of the people because it helps to have a proper living of life by reaching at that stage of life. It provides us strength and power in one's life. It spiritually our body's parts and help in fighting against injustice and unfair things around us. It helps to have proper living in once life. Highly influencial people also turns into spirituality in order to have good life and to face difficult changes in life. In conclusion, majority of public and influential people are turns to spirituality state of mind at the some point in life because they want to have positive and energentic life and have special power to face difficulties that will came in life. It also enhance confidence and boost up positivity around them. It is important to turns sprituality at some stage of life in order to avoid negativity thought's of people.
Majority of the public and influential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turn
to spirituality at the specific point of life.

Spirituality is the state of mind that gives energy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
and Knowledge to fight against the negativity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
us. In my view, it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the spirituality after the specific point of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Spirituality plays a vital role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It enhances the confidence, increase positivity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
us and boost-up confidence and give us strength to fight against the negativity. It is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
our standard of living and give us immense
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
in facing difficulties in doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
work.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
It
enhances the intelligence of the person mind and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
peacefully
.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Spriituality
does not affect the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to have a proper living of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by reaching at that stage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It provides us strength and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
in one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It
A verb is probably missing after 'spiritually'.
spiritually our
body's parts and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in fighting against injustice and unfair things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
us.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to have proper living in once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Highly
Possible spelling mistake found.
influencial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turns
into spirituality in order to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and to face difficult
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in life.

In conclusion
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
public and influential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turns
to spirituality state of mind at the
Did you mean "same"?
some
point in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
energentic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and have special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
to face difficulties that will came in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It
also
Did you mean "enhances"?
enhance
confidence and boost up positivity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
them. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
turns
Possible spelling mistake found.
sprituality
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in order to avoid negativity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
's of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Many People, including highly influential people, turn to spirituality at some point(juncture) in life. What do you think are the reasons? How does their inclination to spirituality affect their lives?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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