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Many students do not finish school.why is this and how can the problem be solved?

Many students do not finish school. why is this and how can the problem be solved? N82NN
In the contemporary era, education is compulsary to get a better job for great livelihood. But, most students drops out school and do not complete their studies because of several reasons, that, I will be explicating in subsequent paragraphs. I feel, this problem can be solved by both individuals and the government. To commence with, there are many problems that some scholars do not complete school. First and the foremost is, family financial conditions is not good so, children left school and start working in early age. Besides this, some parents are not interested in education and do not support their children in studing. For instance, in india, some girls do not go to school because their parents do not support them. Another reason is social problems like some jobs do not require good education and that is why some people do not take it seriously. Apart from this, many individuals drops out school to become an actor, sportsman, enterpreneur etc. For example, Alia Bhatt a famous bollywood actress who left school to become a successful actress and now she is the one of the popular actress in film industry. Hence, these problems creates young people who do not have any skills. On the other hand, there are various things that can be done about these problems. The important one is, parents should encouraged to send their offspring to schools. To exemplify, school should organized camps about needs and benefits of education. The other crucial thing is, government should offer financial support to students to continue their studies. If government provide some basic stuffs like stationary and reduce the amount of fee's it will be helpful for many parents and tutees will be inspired to stay at school. In conclusion, I feel, if more people finish their schools it will help them to achieve full potential.
In the contemporary era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
compulsary
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better job for great livelihood.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, most students drops out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and do not complete their studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of several reasons, that, I will be explicating in subsequent paragraphs. I feel, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can
be solved
by both individuals and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. To commence with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scholars do not complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
First
and the foremost is, family financial conditions is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
working in early age.
Besides
this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are not interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and do not support their children in
Possible spelling mistake found.
studing
.
For instance
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
girls do not go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not support them. Another reason is social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
jobs do not require
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
that is
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not take it
seriously
. Apart from this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals drops out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to become an actor, sportsman,
Possible spelling mistake found.
enterpreneur
etc.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Alia
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bhatt
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Possible spelling mistake found.
bollywood
actress who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to become a successful actress and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
she is the one of the popular actress in film industry.
Hence
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
creates young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who do not have any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
On the other hand
, there are various things that can
be done
about these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
one is,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "encourage"
encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their offspring to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. To exemplify,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "organize"
organized
camps about needs and benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. The other crucial thing is,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should offer financial support to students to continue their studies. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic stuffs like stationary and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of fee's it will be helpful for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
tutees
will
be inspired
to stay at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
In conclusion
, I feel, if more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
finish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to achieve full potential.
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IELTS essay Many students do not finish school. why is this and how can the problem be solved?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
306 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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