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Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or to gain experience. Do you think this is a good idea or waste of time?

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or to gain experience. Do you think this is a good idea or waste of time? 2e2x
Majority of students used to start college or university just after finishing their schools. but some of the students prefer to take one year break before taking a decision of next level. In my opinion, it is a good idea to take some rest and decide for the next step with calm mind. A student carries a great responsibility of deciding about future, especially when no mentor is around to suggest something. After giving exams, Some of the students prefer to refresh themselves by travelling or by spending time with their loved ones, so that they can get time to think and choose among the different options the carry. Furthermore, in this period, one can get time to polish oneself and develop their innate talents. Some people argue that taking a gap between school and university is waste of time. They believe that a students are the future of country and they should be capable enough to take decisions of the situation they are put in. So, students should decide for the future courses when they are in schools with the help of their teachers. Different beings have different opinions. Some people take immediate decisions and flourishes in life. but, I believe, most of the people take decisions in rush and have to change them in future. So, its better to take a break once and decide than taking lot of diversions in future because of one wrong decision.
Majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
college or university
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just
after finishing their schools.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer to take one year break
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
of
next
level. In my opinion, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rest and decide for the
next
step with calm mind. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
carries a great responsibility of deciding about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
,
especially
when no mentor is around to suggest something. After giving exams,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer to refresh themselves by travelling or by spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
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time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and choose among the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
options the carry.
Furthermore
, in this period, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to polish oneself and develop their innate talents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that taking a gap between school and university is waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. They believe that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
country and
they should be capable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to take
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decisions
of the situation they
are put
in.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
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students
should decide for the
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future
courses when they are in schools with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of their teachers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
beings have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take immediate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
and flourishes in life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
, I believe, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
in rush and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
them in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, its better to take a break once and decide than taking lot of diversions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
.
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IELTS essay Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or to gain experience. Do you think this is a good idea or waste of time?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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