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Many people think we have to focus on the extinction of certain animal species, while others think we should pay attention to the problems of human beings. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Write at least 250 words Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many people think we have to focus on the extinction of certain animal species, while others think we should pay attention to the problems of human beings. KxO9
The quest for advancement in various fields means that man must interact with the living and non-living components of his environment. Some argue that human life should take precedent over the conservation of animal species, While others think that there must be a balance in the exploitation of animal resources to avoid a total wipe of their population. This essay discusses both viewpoints and subsequently agrees with the former assertion. Industries rely on raw materials for the mass manufacturing of products. These raw materials are extracted at times from animals. Hence, improving people's lives for the better. For example, hides or skins from livestock namely, sheep are used in making essential items like clothes. As a result, enhancing the quality of life. However, the rise in activities such as trophy hunting, which is when a tourist pays to kill exotic animals for sports, threatens biodiversity. These preventable and unnecessary killings have led to a drastic reduction in the population of some wildlife thus, adversely affecting the ecosystem. For instance, a 2019 report compiled by an animal rights group in Kenya, revealed that tourists from western countries were responsible for the death of 80 giraffes in Kruger National Park. Therefore, the Indiscriminate hunting of animal species negatively affects the balance of nature. While the benefits from the products made with the raw materials from animals are essential, some still feel that the senseless killing of animals harms sustainable development. However, as long as we are careful with maintaining the balance of the ecosystem, I think that products such as clothes and herbal medicines made with raw materials from animals are vital to human survival.
The quest for advancement in various fields means that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
interact with the living and non-living components of his environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that human life should take precedent over the conservation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species, While others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a balance in the exploitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
resources to avoid a total wipe of their population. This essay discusses both viewpoints and
subsequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the former assertion.

Industries rely on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
for the mass manufacturing of products. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
are extracted
at times from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Hence
, improving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
for the better.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hides
or skins from livestock
namely
, sheep are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in making essential items like clothes.
As a result
, enhancing the quality of life.

However
, the rise in activities such as trophy hunting, which is when a tourist pays to kill exotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for sports, threatens biodiversity. These preventable and unnecessary killings have led to a drastic reduction in the population of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
wildlife
thus
,
adversely
affecting the ecosystem.
For instance
, a 2019 report compiled by an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
rights group in Kenya, revealed that tourists from western countries were responsible for the death of 80 giraffes in Kruger National Park.
Therefore
, the Indiscriminate hunting of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species
negatively
affects the balance of nature.

While the benefits from the products made with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are essential,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
still
feel that the senseless killing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
harms sustainable development.
However
, as long as we are careful with maintaining the balance of the ecosystem, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that products such as clothes and herbal medicines made with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are vital to human survival.
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IELTS essay Many people think we have to focus on the extinction of certain animal species, while others think we should pay attention to the problems of human beings.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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