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Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time ?

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time? AVVx
Nowadays in this neoteric era, the majority of students start their degree in the same year as finishing school. Some people think that students can take a year of gap before starting college as well as at that time they can do travelling or do work. In my opinion, this is good idea and this is help to gain new skills and knowledge. I will discuss some benefits in upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, when any student choose to travel, there are myriad benefits. First and foremost, international travelling and stay that place some days can help to learn a new language. In addition to, this is help to reduce language barrier in students. Secondly, students can get to know about different cultures and traditions which may be helpful in their further life. Lastly, travelling give opportunity to explore the world. Student can watch wonderful scenario in different countries. Furthermore, if any student can choose to do work, they can gain some practical knowledge. Firstly, work experience help to develop confidence and communication skills. Moreover, if work is related to their course, it can help the student in their college and university degree time. Student can easily communicate with other after some year work. Secondly, they can earn some amount of money via doing job. And it can useful in their own experience as well as some time student can save this money which can helpful in their future. In sum up, it seem to me that, student can know about various culture and traditions through travelling, while work experience help to increase their confidence level and earn some money.
Nowadays in this neoteric era, the majority of
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students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their degree in the same year as finishing school.
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Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
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students
can take a year of gap
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before
starting college
as well
as at that time they can do
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travelling
or do
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work
. In my opinion, this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and this is
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help
to gain new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge. I will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits in upcoming paragraphs. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, when any
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student
choose to travel, there are myriad benefits.
First
and foremost, international
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travelling
and stay that place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
days can
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help
to learn a new language.
In addition
to, this is
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help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
language barrier in
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students
.
Secondly
,
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students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and traditions which may be helpful in their
further
life.
Lastly
,
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travelling
give opportunity to explore the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Student
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
wonderful scenario in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries.
Furthermore
, if any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can choose to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, they can gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
practical knowledge.
Firstly
,
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work
experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to develop confidence and communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Moreover
, if
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work
is related
to their course, it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in their college and university degree time.
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Student
can
easily
communicate with other after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
year
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work
.
Secondly
, they can earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amount of money via doing job. And it
The word 'useful' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
can useful
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience
as well
as
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some
time
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student
can save this money which can helpful in their future. In sum up, it
Did you mean "seems"?
seem
to me that,
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student
can know about various culture and traditions through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to increase their confidence level and earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money.
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IELTS essay Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
270 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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