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Many students choose to attend schools or univerities outside their home country. Why do some students study abroad? Use specific reaons and details to explain your answer. v.1

Many students choose to attend schools or univerities outside their home country. Why do some students study abroad? Use specific reaons and details to explain your answer. v. 1
These days, numerous students around the world prefer to enroll at a school or a university in a foreign nation. I believe that the two main reasons why they select this educational option are to gain profound knowledge and practical skills in a new environment and to have opportunity to start the tertiary education or apply themselves in their future career. Firstly, the primary reason for studying abroad is to give students a chance to broaden their knowledge and perspective. In many schools, especially top-tier institutions, there are not only a lot of professors who are distinguished scholars, but also the courses are taught by some of the world‘s leading authorities in the field. As a result, this provision of great educational programs will help students improve their level of academic performance and professional skills in an effective way. They can also immerse themselves in a new language, the variety of distinct culture, incredible foods and local customs. In addition, studying abroad encourages an independent study habit and a healthy lifestyle without having their family nearby. Secondly, it may be easier for students to go on to higher education if they want to keep studying or to search a potential job if they return home. For whom want to meet the entry requirements for university entrance, they can secure a place at a prestigious university because they are familiar with the teaching methods and the educational curriculum of this country. For whom want to find a job in their home country, interpersonal skill, team-working skill and other practical skills that students had learned during their study in foreign country might help them have more opportunity to have a dream job and be able to put their knowledge into practice at the workplace, and therefore receive recognition for their capabilities. In conclusion, the selection of studying in a foreign country is becoming a global trend as a consequence of considerable benefits that it brings to students.
These days, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
around the world prefer to enroll at a school or a university in a foreign nation. I believe that the two main reasons why they select this educational option are to gain profound knowledge and practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in a new environment and to have opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the tertiary education or apply themselves in their future career.

Firstly
, the primary reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad is to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
a chance to broaden their knowledge and perspective. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
schools,
especially
top-tier institutions, there are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
professors who
are distinguished
scholars,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the courses
are taught
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the world‘s leading authorities in the field.
As a result
, this provision of great educational programs will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their level of academic performance and professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
Consider replacing "in an effective way" with the adverb for "effective"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an effective way
. They can
also
immerse themselves in a new language, the variety of distinct culture, incredible foods and local customs.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad encourages an independent study habit and a healthy lifestyle without having their family nearby.

Secondly
, it may be easier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to go on to higher education if they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
or to search a potential job if they return home. For whom want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the entry requirements for university entrance, they can secure a place at a prestigious university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are familiar with the teaching methods and the educational curriculum of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. For whom want to find a job in their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, team-working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
and other practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
had learned during their study in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them have more opportunity to have a dream job and be able to put their knowledge into practice at the workplace, and
therefore
receive recognition for their capabilities.

In conclusion
, the selection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is becoming a global trend as a consequence of considerable benefits that it brings to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Many students choose to attend schools or univerities outside their home country. Why do some students study abroad? Use specific reaons and details to explain your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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