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Many small local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this affect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

It is often said that big supermarkets are the cause why local small stores are diminishing. This essay will vividly enlist a few effects of this trend to local communities, following some solution to improve this condition. The shutting down of local shops has a significant on people lives because for many people shops are the only source of their income. More and more people being attracted to shopping malls as they provide lucrative offers to customers to shop from their premises. Small shop owners simply cannot afford to provide such offers and therefore, they are closing their businesses.  To illustrate, a recent survey conducted by Trade Parliament of Uzbekistan revealed that 62% of people admitted that they would prefer to buy their grocery from large stores rather than from a small shop because they provide better price and a range of offers on a purchase. The rate of unemployment increases significantly after the local shops close their business. This is due to the fact that many people work in this unorganized sector and once the shop owners decide to shut their shops, they are unemployed. It becomes very difficult for them to get a new job because of shrinking businesses. To illustrate, in my hometown, a new shopping centre opened two years ago, and due to this mall, anumber small shop owners closed their shops due to continuous shrinking businesses and expelled their employees because more people preferred to shop from the mall. The government can take various measures to mitigate the potential problems explained above. One effective method which local government can implement is to put a cap on the prices of essential products and monitor them strictly. This will make sure that supermarket chains cannot dictate the pricing and eventually helps local shops to sustain themselves. Another possible solution is to set up various subsidized sources by the government for the local shops to purchase goods from. As a result, more and more people will be attracted to start such shops and ultimately this will help people especially those who cannot afford to travel long distances for their grocery shopping. In conclusion,  although large supermarkets are important in our life since  they supply us with our need, however small supermarkets are also important and we have to support them.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
supermarkets are the cause why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
stores are diminishing. This essay will
vividly
enlist a few effects of this trend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities, following
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
this condition.

The shutting down of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
has a significant on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
source of their income. More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being attracted
to shopping malls as they provide lucrative offers to customers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
from their premises.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
owners
simply
cannot afford to provide such offers and
therefore
, they are closing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
.  To illustrate, a recent survey conducted by Trade Parliament of Uzbekistan revealed that 62% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
admitted that they would prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their grocery from large stores
rather
than from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they provide better price and a range of offers on a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
. The rate of unemployment increases
significantly
after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
close their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
This is due to the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work in this unorganized sector and once the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
owners decide to shut their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
, they
are unemployed
. It becomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a new job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of shrinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
. To illustrate, in my hometown, a new shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
opened two years ago, and due to this mall,
Possible spelling mistake found.
anumber
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
owners closed their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
due to continuous shrinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
and expelled their employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
preferred to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
from the mall.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can take various measures to mitigate the potential problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
above. One effective method which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can implement is to put a cap on the prices of essential products and monitor them
strictly
. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that supermarket chains cannot dictate the pricing and
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
to sustain themselves. Another possible solution is to set up various subsidized sources by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from.
As a result
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be attracted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
and
ultimately
this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
those who cannot afford to travel long distances for their grocery shopping.

In conclusion
,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
although large supermarkets are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in our life since
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
they supply us with our need,
however
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
supermarkets are
also
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
important and
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
support them.
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IELTS essay Many small local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this affect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
382 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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