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Many say that international students should reside in university dormitories while others think shared community housing is better. What are the advantages of both? Which approach do you favour? Give reasons and examples to support your answer.

Many say that international students should reside in university dormitories while others think shared community housing is better. What are the advantages of both? Which approach do you favour? Give reasons and examples to support your answer. NmDdg
Universities around the world welcome many foreign students; some undergraduates choose to live in dormitories while other people decide to live outside university that are shared community housing. In my opinion, living in dormitories is preferable as it give higher safety for college undergraduate. In this essay, I discuss the benefits of both options. As for dormitory, there are many advantages such as higher security, lower expense, more many facilities in college and easier transportation. In terms of safety, many college students are under high security of many guards because they live in areas of university. For example, when an undergraduate is attacked by a robber in college, the many security guards can immediately arrest the robber. In addition g expenses of living in dorms are lower because the students can use many areas in the university for free, such as parking. f- other more, there are many facilities around the dorm that the students can use, such as swimming pool, badminton court, football court, running area, and library. Finally, the accommodation is not far from a building that are learning. for example, a medical students have classes in the morning and can spends only five minutes to walk a way from dormitories to the hospital building. On the other hand, the housing around the university have more privacy, more customization and flexible rules. Some people believe the main reason of choosing a place of accommodation is the comfort of living; they are willing to spend abundant amounts of money for the best housing. Some undergraduates may want to live alone and have quiet environment. Moreover, students can have more choices for deciding where to live, such as if an rich undergraduate student require to live a luxurious room, she may choose a svdio room in a large codominum. In term of regulations, students do not have a lot of rules to follow. for instances, when a university student selects to live in a private room, he can go to his room any time and can order abundant foods delivery all day. In conclusion, when the undergraduate students want to spend less money and have convenience for travel, they may choose to live in the building of college. In contrast, if the university students want to have flexible roles and more privacy, they may select shared housing which are outside college and have higher quality. In my perspective, living in dormitory is better for me as I do not want to spend a lot of time to travel to college.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
around the world welcome
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
undergraduates
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dormitories
while other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
that
are shared
community housing. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dormitories
is preferable as it
Did you mean "gives"?
give
higher safety for college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
undergraduate
. In this essay, I discuss the benefits of both options.

As for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dormitory
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages such as higher security, lower expense, more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities in college and easier transportation. In terms of safety,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are under high security of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
guards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in areas of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
For example
, when an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
undergraduate
is attacked
by a robber in college,

the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
security guards can immediately arrest the robber. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
g expenses of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in dorms are lower
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
for free, such as parking.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
f
- other more, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities around the dorm that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, such as swimming pool, badminton court, football court, running area, and library.
Finally
, the accommodation is not far from a building that are learning.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, a medical
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "student"?
students
have classes in the morning and can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "spend"
spends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
five minutes to walk a way from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dormitories
to the hospital building.

On the other hand
, the housing around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
have more privacy, more customization and flexible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe the main reason of choosing a place of accommodation is the comfort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
; they are willing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
abundant

amounts of money for the best housing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
undergraduates
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
alone and have quiet environment.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can have more choices for deciding where to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
, such as if
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
undergraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
require to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
, she may choose a
Possible spelling mistake found.
svdio
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
in a large
Possible spelling mistake found.
codominum
. In term of regulations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to follow.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instances, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
selects to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
, he can go to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
any time and can order abundant
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "foods'" or "food's"?
foods
delivery all day.

In conclusion
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
undergraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
less money and have convenience for travel, they may choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the building of college.
In contrast
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to have flexible roles and more privacy, they may select shared housing which are outside college and have higher quality.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dormitory
is better for me as I do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to travel to college.
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IELTS essay Many say that international students should reside in university dormitories while others think shared community housing is better. What are the advantages of both? Which approach do you favour? Give reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
420 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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