Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many say that getting to know about historical events plays a crucial role in school while other people believe that some practical subjects such as Science and Technology are much more significant

Many say that getting to know about historical events plays a crucial role in school while other people believe that some practical subjects such as Science and Technology are much more significant XlYrN
Many say that getting to know about historical events plays a crucial role in school while other people believe that some practical subjects such as Science and Technology are much more significant. In my point of view, I agree with the second opinion. On the one hand, History is important in every nation but it is not necessary. Learning history can help people to have a deeper understanding about the past achievement as well as the sacrifice of forefathers and they will appreciate the peaceful life that they are having. However, if it is the only purpose that makes History be the most important subject, it will not be enough. Because the knowledge that students gain from studying History has no practical use in daily life. That is the reason why the pupils who graduate from the majors related to History cannot find a decent job in modern society. Therefore, History should not be prioritized. On the other hand, some practical subjects such as Science and Technology may have benefits to students. First of all, due to the rapid development of technology, nowadays, students can use their science knowledge for many purposes successfully. Furthermore, they can gain qualifications in these subjects in order to land a job so they may live a better life in the future. In addition, in some cases, practical knowledge can protect people from dangerous situations in daily life. As an example, learning Chemistry allows people to know exactly which chemicals have negative effects on their health and they can keep away from them. In this way, Science and Technology may become more essential in today’s society. In conclusion, History is significant but not necessary due to the fact that it has no practical use in the modern world while the importance of subjects such as Science and technology is increasing because of its usefulness in life. Therefore, people should consider carefully before choosing what to study.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
say that getting to know about historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
plays a crucial role in school while other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
are much more significant. In my point of view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the second opinion.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in every nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not necessary. Learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have a deeper understanding about the past achievement
as well
as the sacrifice of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
forefathers and
they will appreciate the peaceful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
that they are having.
However
, if it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
purpose that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
be the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, it will not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
the knowledge that students gain from studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
has no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
That is
the reason why the pupils who graduate from the majors related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
cannot find a decent job in modern society.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
should not
be prioritized
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
may have benefits to students.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, due to the rapid development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, nowadays, students can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
knowledge for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
purposes
successfully
.
Furthermore
, they can gain qualifications in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in order to land a job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the future.
In addition
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
knowledge can protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
situations in daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. As an example, learning Chemistry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to know exactly which chemicals have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
health and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
away from them. In this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
may become more essential in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s society.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
is significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not necessary due to the fact that it has no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in the modern world while the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is increasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its usefulness in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should consider
carefully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
choosing what to study.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Many say that getting to know about historical events plays a crucial role in school while other people believe that some practical subjects such as Science and Technology are much more significant

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts