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Should be banned violate video games? Give your opinion to support your idea.

Should be banned violate video games? Give your opinion to support your idea. L90mr
In the Internet era, playing a lot of violent games is more and more prevalent. There are obviously both advantages and disadvantages surrounding this problem. I personally think that play these game which are violent should be prohibited by governments for any purposes. This essay will discuss why violent games should be banned. There are various problems which must be considered. To be more precise, young individuals are more likely to be vulgar to any people surrounding them. This means violate video games can form their bad awareness in their mind if they concentrate on playing these games day by day. If they are addicted heavily on violate games they can not control their mind and fight other people in the real world. This can lead to a burst of criminal behaviors and the number of offenders will increase significantly. In addition, those who spend most time on playing violate games can slowly develop in their mindset. Violate games can mislead their mind and affect directly any bad behaviors on them. It is difficult to handle and prevent their actions. Therefore, governments should exert to ban any games which contain violate contents. If the governments do not prevent game companies from creating such these games immediately, those who are playing violate games can become criminals promptly. Besides that, a growing body of research suggest that not only violate games but other games can affect adversely on players. They do not have enough time to do other things such as studying or working. Results in the future will be not good for individuals if they do not catch up on any news related to their life at the present. According to the survey of Vin University in Viet Nam, about 40% people who are addicted on games will not stop playing such games and they obviously can not live without games. Those are the same as people who are addicted on drugs. It affects not only themselves but also their neighbor because they can do any violate actions to earn money and take money into their games. In conclusion, playing violate video games can lead to a plethora of bad behaviors, even crimes so the governments should prevent such a situation as soon as possible. In my opinion, I suppose that disadvantages completely outweigh advantages, even it is hard to find any beneficial reasons to protect game companies in this case.
In the Internet era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is more and more prevalent. There are
obviously
both advantages and disadvantages surrounding this problem. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that play these game which are violent should
be prohibited
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
for any purposes. This essay will discuss why violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
should
be banned
.

There are various problems which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
. To be more precise, young individuals are more likely to be vulgar to any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
surrounding them. This means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violate
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can form their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
awareness in their mind if they concentrate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
these
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "games'" or "game's"?
games
day by day. If they
are addicted
heavily
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
they can not control their mind and fight other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the real world. This can lead to a burst of criminal behaviors and the number of offenders will increase
significantly
.

In addition
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
spend most time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
slowly
develop in their mindset.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Violate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can mislead their mind and affect
directly
any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
behaviors on them. It is difficult to handle and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
their actions.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should exert to ban any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which contain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violate
contents. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
game
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
from creating such these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
immediately, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can become criminals
promptly
.

Besides
that, a growing body of research suggest that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can affect
adversely
on players. They do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to do other things such as studying or working. Results in the future will be not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for individuals if they do not catch up on any news related to their life at the present. According to the survey of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vin
University in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam, about 40%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are addicted
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
such
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
games and
they
obviously
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Those are the same as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are addicted
on drugs. It affects not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their neighbor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can do any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violate
actions to earn money and take money into their games.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violate
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can lead to a plethora of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
behaviors, even crimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
such a situation as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible. In my opinion, I suppose that disadvantages completely outweigh advantages, even it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to find any beneficial reasons to protect game
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in this case
.
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IELTS essay Should be banned violate video games? Give your opinion to support your idea.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
400 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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