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DANGERS OF PROCESSED FOOD

DANGERS OF PROCESSED FOOD NyBJd
Many processed food and beverages have a higher amount of sugar content that can lead to various health-related problems. Therefore, I believe increasing the price of those unhealthy products could affect people’s sugar consumption patterns by helping to reduce the intake noticeably. First, creating financial pressure around the food choices force most people to rethink their food and drink choices. When this happens, if these processed product costs are higher than the healthier alternatives, people tend to go for healthy and affordable options naturally in order to save money. After repeating the same action for a number of time, the majority will get used to buying them and eventually become a part of their lifestyle. Gradually, these changes will affect their overall health and reduce the chances of developing food and drink-related diseases in the future. Another benefit we will get by increasing the price of the products with higher sugar content would be people being more mindful of their consumption patterns. For example, when suddenly their familiar apple-flavored juice with higher sugar content gets more expensive comparing to the organic one, automatically they raise the question of why it is happening and will realize it is for their own good. Change in the usual pricing will help to open people's eyes to wholesome products. In conclusion, to reduce the health concerns regarding people’s food and drink choices, increasing the prices of unhealthy products will act as a great encouragement to buy more wholesome products. This will helps them to be more conscious about their consumption patterns that can prevent numerous life-threatening diseases and other health-related concerns.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and beverages have a higher amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
content that can lead to various health-related problems.
Therefore
, I believe increasing the price of those unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
could affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
consumption patterns by helping to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the intake
noticeably
.

First
, creating financial pressure around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
choices force most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to rethink their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and drink choices. When this happens, if these processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
costs are higher than the healthier alternatives,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to go for healthy and affordable options
naturally
in order to save money. After repeating the same action for a number of time, the majority will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to buying them and
eventually
become a part of their lifestyle.
Gradually
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
will affect their
overall
health and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the chances of developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and drink-related diseases in the future.

Another benefit we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
by increasing the price of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
content would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being more mindful of their consumption patterns.
For example
, when
suddenly
their familiar apple-flavored juice with higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
content
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
more expensive comparing to the organic one,
automatically
they raise the question of why it is happening and will realize it is for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Change
in the usual pricing will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to open
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's eyes to wholesome products.

In conclusion
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the health concerns regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and drink choices, increasing the prices of unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
will act as a great encouragement to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more wholesome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to be more conscious about their consumption patterns that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
numerous life-threatening diseases and other health-related concerns.
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IELTS essay DANGERS OF PROCESSED FOOD

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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