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Many products that people buy are made in other countries. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion.

Plethora brands are purchased by people which produce from other regions due to the high quality. Nonetheless, it is considered that products can eliminate local manufactures as the drawback. Granted, having high excellence commodities come from overseas is the main impact for encouraging buyers, and this leads to help the economy of receiver countries. This is because some products in overseas are processed with the sophisticated technology, and when the exporter countries want to sell their brands, they would be charged by the host nation with some funds. To illustrate, around 60% Indonesians’ choose to use iPhone from U. S as their smartphone due to the high resolution of camera which consist of 13-mega pixel with the light setting, and each that company exports to Indonesia has the tax around Rp. 500, 000 per item. Therefore, I believe that products will bring users more comfortable to use it. On the other hands, the origin manufactures cannot compete with the competitors from other countries, making them less well-known among costumers. Since exporters expend their products in other countries, buyers prefer to choose the popular ones which come form overseas, and also the lack of promotion by local products cause of a slight purchasers to select this one. According to Ministry of Industry Indonesia, there are around 70% Indonesians’ keen on iPhone, if compared with Advance which is the local product, buyers are more satisfy to use the first one because they promotes their brand through YouTube platform, having details of features like cameras and sounds. Instead of seeing promotion, the buyers should determine products based one their needs. To sum up, I assure that brands coming from overseas consist of high value, but this will make foreign brands less of buyers. Where possible, if the authorities in some countries provide local brands which can compete with overseas and make buyers comfortable and suitable to use that one.
Plethora
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
which produce from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
regions due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
quality. Nonetheless, it
is considered
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
can eliminate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
manufactures as the drawback.

Granted, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
excellence commodities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
is the main impact for encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buyers
, and this leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the economy of receiver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
are processed
with the sophisticated technology, and when the exporter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
want to sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
, they would
be charged
by the host nation with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
funds. To illustrate, around 60% Indonesians’ choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
iPhone from U. S as their smartphone due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
resolution of camera which consist of 13-mega pixel with the light setting, and each that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
exports to Indonesia has the tax around
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rp
. 500, 000 per item.
Therefore
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
will bring users more comfortable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hands, the origin manufactures cannot compete with the competitors from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, making them less well-known among costumers. Since exporters expend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buyers
prefer to choose the popular ones which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
form
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
, and
also
the lack of promotion by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
cause of a slight
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "purchaser"?
purchasers
to select this one. According to Ministry of Industry Indonesia, there are around 70% Indonesians’ keen on iPhone, if compared with Advance which is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buyers
are more satisfy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
first
one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "promote"
promotes
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
through YouTube platform, having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of features like cameras and sounds.
Instead
of seeing promotion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buyers
should determine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
based one their needs.

To sum up, I assure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
coming from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
consist of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
value,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
less of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buyers
. Where possible, if the authorities in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
which can compete with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buyers
comfortable and suitable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that one.
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IELTS essay Many products that people buy are made in other countries. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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