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There was a time when people only shopped out of necessity but these days shopping seems to have become a new form of leisure activity. People do not appreciate the value of money anymore.

It is fact that, nowadays people are doing more shopping compared to past. This has become a hobby for them. Spending too much money on unnecessary items. I believe that individual need to understand the value of money and purchase only necessity items needed and, save the rest money for the further. Majority of youngsters these days following trend. So when a new trend came immediately they purchase that item and when it got outdated they won't use it and throw/keep it a side. In past people have to go to shop and purchase the items but now even sitting at home when can shop online. They were many e-commerce sites available like Bigbasket, Flipkart, Myntra and Amazon etc. These websites are eye catching and put some offers at the time of festivals to attract people so, people think they are getting more discounts on products and, they start purchasing unnecessarily. This way they are wasting more money on shopping. Supermarkets also giving more offers these days like 'buy one get one free' on specific products. As plethora of shops increased in cities consequently to attract people to buy items in their respective shops. Individuals though they are having stock at home purchasing it just for further use and as a result the expiry date get overed on items and using those products unknowingly may effect health. To conclude that we have to buy items only on necessity and spend money wisely. Parents also have to tell their children the importance of money. Doing shopping for necessary things is worth awhile but exceeding beyond limit is not a good thing for individuals.
It is fact that, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are doing more shopping compared to past. This has become a hobby for them. Spending too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
. I believe that individual need to understand the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
necessity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
needed and, save the rest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for the
further
.

Majority of youngsters these days following trend.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
when a new trend came immediately they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
and when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
outdated they won't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it and throw/
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it a side. In past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
even sitting at home when can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
online. They were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
e-commerce sites available like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bigbasket
, Flipkart,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Myntra
and Amazon etc. These websites are eye catching and put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
offers at the time of festivals to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they are getting more discounts on products and, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
purchasing
unnecessarily
. This way they are wasting more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on shopping.

Supermarkets
also
giving more offers these days like '
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
one free' on specific products.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
increased in cities
consequently
to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
in their respective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. Individuals
Did you mean "thought"?
though
they are having stock at home purchasing it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and
as a result
the expiry date
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
overed
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
and using those products
unknowingly
may
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
health.

To conclude
that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on necessity and spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
wisely
. Parents
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
their children the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "going shopping".
Doing shopping
for necessary things is worth awhile
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
exceeding beyond limit is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing for individuals.
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IELTS essay There was a time when people only shopped out of necessity but these days shopping seems to have become a new form of leisure activity. People do not appreciate the value of money anymore.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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