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Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?????

Nowadays individual work for a number of hours, in order to income more money they sacrifices their much time engaging in work. Working for a long time a day is favorable for making money on the contrary it consumes our exuberance period which hold the goods of our mental and physical health. Modern days public have a lot requirement in their life, in order to meet such needs they have to have a lot of money subsequently, they covered all this need through works. People spent much time on working to earn good money and fulfill the requirement. In general, individuals work for 16 to 18 hours a day to insure much money. They actively participate in work thought that saving money for future is risk minimizing concept. And its true notion, such money assists them utterly in future. If they gain much money, they can overcome future uncertainty for sure. Moreover, making money is not only helpful for them also for their family ranging from basic needs, higher education to lavish lifestyle. However, there are many demerits that hold the concept of only needy for money is not the genuine life. It’s inevitable that much income better lifestyle but not time for enjoyment. It is completely worse not have time for relax. Even though, money holds the insure future with certain uncertainty, it doesn’t give joyful present. Relaxation makes individual excellent mental and physical health which is far better than working life. Some of the things such as arts, music and sports have tendency to fill up public satisfaction which is beyond the range of money. In addition, For comprehensive life proper sleep and completely rest are really need, which cannot meet by working majority of hours a day. Overall, despite, making money working for long hours may have many pros; the cons of free time for healthy lifestyle cannot be neglect.
Nowadays individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
, in order to income more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they
The pronoun ‘they’ must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: “sacrifice”
sacrifices
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
engaging in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
a day is favorable for making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the contrary
it consumes our exuberance period which hold the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
of our mental and physical health.

Modern days public have a lot requirement in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
subsequently
, they covered all this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
through works.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
to earn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and fulfill the requirement.
In general
, individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for 16 to 18
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a day to insure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. They
actively
participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
minimizing concept. And its true notion, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
assists them
utterly
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. If they gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, they can overcome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
uncertainty for sure.
Moreover
, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
helpful for them
also
for their family ranging from basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
, higher education to lavish lifestyle.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
demerits that hold the concept of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
needy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not the genuine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It’s inevitable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
income better lifestyle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for enjoyment. It is completely worse not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for relax.
Even though
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
holds
After ‘the’, do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of ‘insure’ is correct. If ‘insure’ is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the insure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
with certain uncertainty, it doesn’t give joyful present. Relaxation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
individual excellent mental and physical health which is far better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
If the text is a generality, ‘of the’ is not necessary.
Some of the
things such as arts, music and sports have tendency to fill up public satisfaction which is beyond the range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
In addition
, For comprehensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
proper sleep and completely rest are
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
, which cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
It seems that an article is missing. Did you mean “the majority of” or “a majority of”?
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a day.

Overall
, despite, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pros; the cons of free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for healthy lifestyle cannot be neglect.
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IELTS essay Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? ? ? ? ?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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