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Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages??

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? ? ? ? ? Nowadays individual work for a number of hours, in order to income more money they sacrifices their much time engaging in work. Working for a long time a day is favorable for making money on the contrary it consumes our exuberance period which hold the goods of our mental and physical health. Modern days public have a lot requirement in their life, in order to meet such needs they have to have a lot of money subsequently, they covered all this need through works. People spent much time on working to earn good money and fulfill the requirement. In general, individuals work for 16 to 18 hours a day to insure much money. They actively participate in work thought that saving money for future is risk minimizing concept. And its true notion, such money assists them utterly in future. If they gain much money, they can overcome future uncertainty for sure. Moreover, making money is not exclusively helpful for them also for their family ranging from basic needs, higher education to lavish lifestyle. However, there are many demerits that hold the concept of only needy for money is not the genuine life. It’s inevitable that much income better lifestyle but not time for enjoyment. It is completely worse not have time for relax. Even though, money holds the insure future with certain uncertainty, it doesn’t give joyful present. Relaxation makes individual excellent mental and physical health which is far better than working life. Some of the things such as arts, music and sports have tendency to fill up public satisfaction which is beyond the range of money. In addition, for comprehensive life proper sleep and completely rest are really need, which cannot meet by working majority of hours a day. Overall, despite, making money working for long hours may have many pros; the cons of free time for healthy lifestyle cannot be neglect.
Many
people
work
long
hours
, leaving
very
little
time
for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? ? ? ? ?

Nowadays individual
work
for a number of
hours
, in order to income more
money
they
sacrifices
their
much
time
engaging in
work
.
Working
for a long
time
a day is favorable for making
money
on the contrary
it consumes our exuberance period which hold the
goods
of our mental and physical health.

Modern days public have a lot requirement in their
life
, in order to
meet
such
needs
they
have to
have
a lot of
money
subsequently
, they covered all this
need
through works.
People
spent
much
time
on
working
to earn
good
money
and fulfill the requirement.
In general
, individuals
work
for 16 to 18
hours
a day to insure
much
money
. They
actively
participate in
work
thought
that saving
money
for
future
is
risk
minimizing concept. And its true notion, such
money
assists them
utterly
in
future
. If they gain
much
money
, they can overcome
future
uncertainty for sure.
Moreover
, making
money
is not exclusively helpful for them
also
for their family ranging from basic
needs
, higher education to lavish lifestyle.

However
, there are
many
demerits that hold the concept of
only
needy for
money
is not the genuine
life
. It’s inevitable that
much
income better lifestyle
but
not
time
for enjoyment. It is completely worse not have
time
for relax.
Even though
,
money
holds
the insure
future
with certain uncertainty, it doesn’t give joyful present. Relaxation
makes
individual excellent mental and physical health which is far better than
working
life
.
Some of the
things such as arts, music and sports have tendency to fill up public satisfaction which is beyond the range of
money
.
In addition
, for comprehensive
life
proper sleep and completely rest are
really
need
, which cannot
meet
by
working
majority of
hours
a day.

Overall
, despite, making
money
working
for long
hours
may have
many
pros; the cons of free
time
for healthy lifestyle cannot be neglect.
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IELTS essay Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? ?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
338 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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