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Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Individuals prefer to work on additional hours and they do not spend time on other things like workouts, relaxation and a quality time with family. The main merit is that people think of making more money whereas this negatively affects their health. This essay agrees that cons surpass the pros and all the points will be substantiated in the upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, humans are working extra hours a lot nowadays. Mankind think they have to work overtimes as they need extra money to survive in this price hiking scenario so they can save money for their future. For example individuals deem that monthly expenses must be done by additional hour’s money so they can save funds from their regular pay cheques. Besides, some are dedicated towards their goals and personal growth. They work till late night tofor expand their skills and knowledge which help them to reach thereach to the goal. To illustrate, 67. 69% of people do extra hours for their personal growth and to achieve goals according to a survey of the US in 2019. On the other hand, humans start facing medical challenges due to more work. They find lack of sleep, mental stress, and physical pain because of overtimes. For instance, many people have back pain, insomnia, short term memory and less concentration power just because of long days working. Secondly, they even cannot spend time with their family due to more hours of work. A lot of kids are attached to their grandparents but not to their parents and the reason is that those parents who work a lot and cannot give a quality time to their child consequently cannot connect emotionally and mentally with his/her parents. Lastly, extra time on the job leads to job dissatisfaction. It is hard to maintain passion and enthusiasm for every task so everyone should not work too many hours. Such as everybody has their limit to do something continuously or frequently after the saturation point he/she gets frustrated and tired and initiates feeling unhappy. To conclude, although the masses think that working hard has various benefits like making more and securing their future, the drawbacks of this trend such as health issues, less family time and disappointment towards work surpass the merits.
Individuals prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on additional
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hours and
they do not spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on other things like workouts, relaxation and a quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family. The main merit is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of making more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
whereas this
negatively
affects their health. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that cons surpass the pros and all the points will
be substantiated
in the upcoming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, humans are working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a lot nowadays. Mankind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
overtimes as they need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to survive in this price hiking scenario
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their future.
For example
individuals deem that monthly expenses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be done
by additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can save funds from their regular pay
Possible spelling mistake. ‘cheques’ is British English.
cheques
.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are dedicated
towards their goals and personal growth. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
till late night
Possible spelling mistake found.
tofor
expand their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to reach
Possible spelling mistake found.
thereach
to the goal. To illustrate, 67. 69% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
for their personal growth and to achieve goals according to a survey of the US in 2019.

On the other hand
, humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
facing medical challenges due to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. They find lack of sleep, mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, and physical pain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of overtimes.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have back pain, insomnia, short term memory and less concentration power
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of long days working.

Secondly
, they even cannot spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their family due to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
kids
are attached
to their grandparents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not to their parents and the reason is that those parents who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
a lot and cannot give a quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their child
consequently
cannot connect
emotionally
and mentally with his/her parents.
Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the job leads to job dissatisfaction. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to maintain passion and enthusiasm for every
Use a comma before ‘so’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
task
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
everyone should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. Such as everybody has their limit to do something
continuously
or
frequently
after the saturation point he/she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
frustrated and tired and initiates feeling unhappy.

To conclude
, although the masses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
has various benefits like making more and securing their future, the drawbacks of this trend such as health issues, less family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and disappointment towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
surpass the merits.
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IELTS essay Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
376 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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