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Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Doe this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? v.4

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Doe this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? v. 4
Nowadays, people usually work for long hours. It is important to consider how increased working hours affect other activities of life. This essay will explain why I believe the advantages of long working hours are outweighed by the negatives leaving very little room for leisure activities. Considering firstly the positives of working long hours, an important one is that people tend to get less time to sit idle thus speeding up the length of the day. The reason for this is spending more time at workplace usually leaves no room to sit idle and thus putting on weight which might lead to unhealthy lifestyle. Furthermore, people can focus on their work helping to meet project deadlines on time. Contrast this with less working hour, which frequently give more time to just lie down may negatively affect health. However, the main disadvantages of long working hours are that they leave less room for leisure activities like spending time with family, playing sports and hobbies thus affecting health in general. This is because people tend to neglect other activities for fun which usually impacts physical as well as mental health. In contrast, if working hours is reduced, people will get more time for fun activities which might lead to a sense of completeness and fulfilment. As a result, people get engaged in sports and other different activities which makes them feel refreshed leading them to stay fit thus indirectly helping in improving quality of life. In conclusion, I think that the disadvantages of affecting the physical and mental health leading to unhealthy lifestyle that come with working long hours outweigh the advantages of sitting idle and meeting deadlines at work.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
work for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to consider how increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
affect other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
of life. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I believe the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
are outweighed
by the negatives leaving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
room for leisure activities.

Considering
firstly
the positives of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
, an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
one is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to sit idle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
speeding up the length of the day.
The reason for this is
spending more
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time
at workplace
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
no room to sit idle and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
putting on weight which might lead to unhealthy lifestyle.
Furthermore
,
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people
can focus on their work helping to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
project deadlines on
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time
. Contrast this with less
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working
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hour
, which
frequently
give more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
lie down may
negatively
affect health.

However
, the main disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
are that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
less room for leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
like spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family, playing sports and hobbies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
affecting health
in general
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to neglect other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
for fun which
usually
impacts physical
as well
as mental health.
In contrast
, if
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working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
,
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people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for fun
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which might lead to a sense of completeness and
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
.
As a result
,
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
engaged in sports and other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them feel refreshed leading them to stay fit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thus
indirectly
helping in improving quality of life.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the disadvantages of affecting the physical and mental health leading to unhealthy lifestyle that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
outweigh the advantages of sitting idle and meeting deadlines at work.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Doe this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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