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Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Others believe that international sporting event bring more problems than benefit.

Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Others believe that international sporting event bring more problems than benefit. KBgN
Honestly, I don't see any significance of hosting an international event in any country. In my opinion, I think it's a complete waste of government fund that could be used elsewhere. Hosting such events requires a great deal of publicity and infrastructure and to achieve this, the host country has to allocate a tremendous amount of money to meet those demands. For instance, the Olympics is a prestigious event that a lot of people sought after, since this is the impression that we have in mind many participating countries invest in this events. However, this is only a short-term goal. sport events like these only paint a shallow image to the world but doesn't help the economy in the long-run. Furthermore, These events require a wide variety of amenities to better accommodate fans and athletes, ranging from hotels, food and airfares which cost billions of dollars. In conclusion, in hind-sight hosting international events brought a great honour to the the country where it was held but this is only temporary and doesn't address the more pressing issues in the society.
Honestly
, I don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
any significance of hosting an international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it's a complete waste of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
fund that could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
elsewhere.

Hosting such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
requires a great deal of publicity and infrastructure and to achieve this, the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
allocate a tremendous amount of money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
those demands.
For instance
, the Olympics is a prestigious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
sought after, since this is the impression that we have in mind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
participating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
invest in
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
.
However
, this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a short-term goal.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
like these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
paint a shallow image to the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the economy in the long-run.

Furthermore
, These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
require a wide variety of amenities to better accommodate fans and athletes, ranging from hotels, food and airfares which cost billions of dollars.

In conclusion
, in hind-sight hosting international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
brought a great
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
to
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
where it
was held
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
temporary and doesn't address the more pressing issues in the society.
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IELTS essay Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Others believe that international sporting event bring more problems than benefit.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
180 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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