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In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this mkmn
Nowadays, young students are going to work or travel for a single year after secondary school and before college education in a few nations. While, there are both merits and demerits associated with this topic, the positive aspects take precedence over the few drawbacks. Initiating with the best possible benefits. The most significant one is learning different skills by travelling across the globe by watching other country traditions and ethical values. It improves their creativity and they get motivation about money, family and so on. For instance, according to a recent survey by Oxford University, many young people from the UK go abroad to explore because it often improves their mind. Along with it, doing jobs like part-time and full time for a year tells the value of money. they try to learn about practical life. For example, in Canada, parents are giving opportunities to the children to work at KFC, Dominos because it gives principles and quality of money. However, there are few disadvantages when it comes to year break for students before university education. Firstly, they forget everything about their studies that they did in high school. As a result, they need to study from basics after going to college for their studies. Secondly, taking leave after school and going to university is not suitable for some students. There are few people who quit studies in universities because they are interested in exploration and jobs. For exemplify, Indian people stop studying in colleges because of the lack of practical knowledge. To conclude, there are few cons regarding the study breaks, there are a plethora of advantages that outweigh negative aspects because younger ones get a lot of knowledge
Nowadays, young students are going to work or travel for a single year after secondary school and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
college education in a few nations. While, there are both merits and demerits associated with this topic, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects take precedence over the few drawbacks.

Initiating with the best possible benefits. The most significant one is learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by travelling across the globe by watching other country traditions and ethical values. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
creativity and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
motivation about money, family and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
For instance
, according to a recent survey by Oxford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from the UK go abroad to explore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their mind. Along with it, doing jobs like part-time and full time for a year
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
the value of money.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
try to learn about practical life.
For example
, in Canada, parents are giving opportunities to the children to work at KFC,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dominos
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it gives principles and quality of money.

However
, there are few disadvantages when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to year break for students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education.
Firstly
, they forget everything about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
that they did in high school.
As a result
, they need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
from basics after going to college for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
Secondly
, taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
after school and going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is not suitable for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students. There are few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who quit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are interested
in exploration and jobs. For exemplify, Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
studying in colleges
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of practical knowledge.

To conclude
, there are few cons regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
breaks, there are a plethora of advantages that outweigh
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
younger ones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
knowledge
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IELTS essay In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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