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Around the world, it is likely that more adults will work from home and more children will study from home as computer technology becomes cheaper and more accessible. Do you think it is a negative or a positive development?

Around the world, it is likely that more adults will work from home and more children will study from home as computer technology becomes cheaper and more accessible. Do you think it is a negative or a positive development? KBg1
Recently information technologies became less expensive and available for the population throughout the world. Thus, it is probable that more grownups will work remotely from a house as well as more children will have home education. In my opinion, this trend has negative as well as positive consequences. Firstly, I think that computer-aided learning is more harmful than beneficial because I believe that engaging with a teacher and classmates is crucial for the child’s development. Modern youngsters spend too much time surfing the internet or communicating in the social networks. As a result, they have lack concentration and disability builds normal human connections. Thus conventional class is engaging interactions with human-beings and gaining an important social skill of building strong relationships with classmates, while machine education is contributing to a child’s isolation and the time spent by a child out of real-life increases. However, the opportunity to work remotely from an office is beneficial for an employee as well as an employer. Using computer-based communication tools adults can discuss all issues with clients from home and as most jobs involve a computer it is feasible to complete a project from any part of the world even being on a vacation in some remote country. Thus, it saves traveling time from home to a job, expenses of employers for electricity, water supply and another maintenance cost for an office. For instance, the author of the book “4 hours working week” claims that it is cheaper to recruit freelance workers somewhere in India than employing someone for a full-time job. It is more effective and less time-consuming. In conclusion, worldwide computer spreading has both negative as positive effects. I think, for the older generation, it is beneficial in terms of saving money and time for work. While, for the youth, it would be better off without machine education because they need to be physically engaged in the education process.
Recently information technologies became less expensive and available for the population throughout the world.
Thus
, it is probable that more grownups will work
remotely
from a
house
as well
as more children will have home
education
. In my opinion, this trend has
negative
as well
as
positive
consequences.

Firstly
, I
think
that computer-aided learning is more harmful than beneficial
because
I believe that engaging with a teacher and classmates is crucial for the child’s development. Modern youngsters spend too much
time
surfing the internet or communicating in the social networks.
As a result
, they have lack concentration and disability builds normal human connections.
Thus
conventional
class
is engaging interactions with human-beings and gaining an
important
social
skill
of building strong relationships with classmates, while machine
education
is contributing to a child’s isolation and the
time
spent by a child out of real-life increases.

However
, the opportunity to work
remotely
from an office is beneficial for an employee
as well
as an employer. Using computer-based communication tools adults can discuss all issues with clients from home and as most jobs involve a computer it is feasible to complete a project from any part of the world even being on a vacation in
some
remote country.
Thus
, it saves traveling
time
from home to a job, expenses of employers for electricity, water supply and another maintenance cost for an office.
For instance
, the author of the book “4 hours working week” claims that it is cheaper to recruit freelance workers somewhere in India than employing someone for a full-time job. It is more effective and less time-consuming.

In conclusion
, worldwide computer spreading has both
negative
as
positive
effects. I
think
, for the older generation, it is beneficial in terms of saving money and
time
for work. While, for the youth, it would be better off without machine
education
because
they need to be
physically
engaged in the
education
process.
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IELTS essay Around the world, it is likely that more adults will work from home and more children will study from home as computer technology becomes cheaper and more accessible. Do you think it is a negative or a positive development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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