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practice8-q1Describe a time in your life when someone’s help was very important. Use specific reasons and details to explain why the help you received was so valuable. v.1

practice8-q1Describe a time in your life when someone’s help was very important. Use specific reasons and details to explain why the help you received was so valuable. v. 1
It is evident that some people working in certain sectors of employment do not wish to switch their jobs in their entire career history. The reasons for this situation differs from person to person and it cannot be judged either benefit or a drawback, as it depends on the individual's perspective. This essay illustrates possible causes that are leading the employee to stick to the same organization. In this fast moving world, most of the people are changing their employments citing various reasons like career growth, financial stability, learning to work in a different environment and so on. However, there exists a considerable amounts of workers, who prosper in the same entity and leading blissful life. Firstly, they feel their current firm is good enough in taking care of all the requirements that one is looking for. Secondly, they tend to develop a personal attachment towards the organization they work for and feels it as their own family. In addition to this, they do not want to create disturbance in their personal life by frequent relocations and new work environment. It is not true that frequent job changes aids an employee in their career development. There are people who climbed top position by starting their career with an entry level job in the same entity. Classic example of Microsoft CEO Mr. Satya Nadella can be considered in this scenario. He started his career two decades back in the same organization and progressed with his capabilities and went on to become the CEO of tech mammoth. To summarize, One should not be considered as incapable just because he is working for the same organization. Each has their own reservations and points of view for serving the same organization rather than frequent job changes.
It is evident that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
working in certain sectors of employment do not wish to switch their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in their entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
history. The reasons for this situation differs from person to person and it cannot
be judged
either benefit or a drawback, as it depends on the individual's perspective. This essay illustrates possible causes that are leading the employee to stick to the same organization.

In this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
moving world, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are changing their employments citing various reasons like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
growth, financial stability, learning to work in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
environment and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
However
, there exists a considerable
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "amount"?
amounts
of workers, who prosper in the same entity and leading blissful life.
Firstly
, they feel their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
firm is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
in taking care of all the requirements that one is looking for.
Secondly
, they tend to develop a personal attachment towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
they work for and feels it as their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
family.
In addition
to this, they do not want to create disturbance in their personal life by frequent relocations and new work environment.

It is not true that frequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
aids an employee in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
development. There are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who climbed top position by starting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
with an entry level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in the same entity. Classic example of Microsoft CEO Mr. Satya
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nadella
can
be considered
in this scenario. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
two decades back in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
and progressed with his capabilities and went on to become the CEO of tech mammoth.

To summarize
, One should not
be considered
as incapable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he is working for the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
. Each has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
reservations and points of view for serving the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
rather
than frequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay practice8-q1Describe a time in your life when someone’s help was very important. Use specific reasons and details to explain why the help you received was so valuable. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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