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Nowadays many people aim to create a balance between their work and other aspects of their life, however, only a few achieve it. What are the problems in doing this and what solutions can you suggest?

Many people try to find a balance between their work and other aspects of their life. However, few actually achieve this. What solutions can you suggest? v. 2
In this modern era, a majority of masses aim to create a balance between their work and other aspect of their life, while only few achieve it. There are a lot of problems behind doing this. This piece of writing shall discuss some problem in doing this and some solutions which can be solve this problem. To begin with, there are a lot of problems that why some people are not able to maintain balance between the their work and other elements of life. Firstly, nowadays people are very greedy and they want to earn more and more in their life. So that's why they spend a lot of time on earning money infact they are doing part time jobs in the evening just because they want to increase their monthly income. They have that greediness for earning the money that's why they do not have time to spend on others activities of life infact they have not time to spend with their family. That is the reason, they do not maintain balance between the work and on others activities of life. Furthermore, every problem have solution and this problem have some solutions like, they should prefer to give few hours for working and tried to spend with time with their family and should try to do other activites in life inspite of doing work continuosly. They should satisfied with less income also. It is not good for them to make a greedy regarding money and start ingnoring the other coulors of life. Movingahead, Goverment should imposed the limit on working hours. That the people spend normal time on work and an individual should try to spend reasonable time or resouces on work. To conclude, nodoubt it is difficult to maintain balance between the work or other elements of life but people can solve the problem by the help of manging their time and resouces and goverment can also put strict ristrictions and rules on the limit of working hours.
In this modern era, a majority of masses aim to create a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
between their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspect of their
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life
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
few achieve it. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
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problems
behind
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doing
this. This piece of writing shall discuss
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some
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problem
in
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doing
this and
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some
solutions which can be
Consider using the past participle "solved"?
solve
this problem.

To
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begin
with, there are
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a lot of
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problems
that why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not able to maintain
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balance
between the their
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work
and
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other
elements of
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life
.
Firstly
, nowadays
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people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
greedy and
they want to earn more and more in their
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life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that's why they
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spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on earning money
Possible spelling mistake found.
infact
they are
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doing
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
jobs in the evening
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to increase their monthly income. They have that greediness for earning the money that's why they do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on others activities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
Possible spelling mistake found.
infact
they have not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
with their family.
That is
the reason, they do not maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and on others activities of life.

Furthermore
, every
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problem
have solution and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions like, they should prefer to give few hours for working and tried to
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spend
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their family and should try to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
in
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life
Possible spelling mistake found.
inspite
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Possible spelling mistake found.
continuosly
. They should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "satisfy"
satisfied
with less income
also
. It is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a greedy regarding money and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
Possible spelling mistake found.
ingnoring
the
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other
Possible spelling mistake found.
coulors
of
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life
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Movingahead
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Goverment
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "impose"
imposed
the limit on working hours. That the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and an individual should try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
reasonable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
resouces
on work.

To conclude
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
nodoubt
it is difficult to maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
elements of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
manging
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
resouces
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
can
also
put strict
Possible spelling mistake found.
ristrictions
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
on the limit of working hours.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many people aim to create a balance between their work and other aspects of their life, however, only a few achieve it. What are the problems in doing this and what solutions can you suggest?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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