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More and more measures to improve the security in large urban areas have been introduced in many countries because of the increased crime. Do the benefits of these measures outweigh the drawbacks? v.1

More and more measures to improve the security in large urban areas have been introduced in many countries because of the increased crime. Do the benefits of these measures outweigh the drawbacks? v. 1
It is an irrefutable fact that the crime rate in urban areas is increasing exponentially, nowadays. Although the installation of security devices is both time-consuming and expensive process, these will definitely be beneficial in reducing the crime rate. In my opinion, the rate at which the crime rate will deplete, clearly outnumbers the costs, and time incurred in the installation of safety equipments. The major benefits of improving security services in urban areas are the reduction in the crime rate, and generating a sense of fear amongst thieves; so, that they think twice before committing any false deed. In other words, this will not only reduce the confidence of culprits but will also break their notion of not getting caught easily. For example, in a recent survey, in India, it was found that the trivial thefts like chain snatching, shoplifting and more, were decreased by a significant rate, when CCTV cameras were installed on the busy streets and shopping malls. Hence, these merits help in creating a peaceful environment. The basic challenges that the government face are the time, and money spent on making the urban areas feel safe and secure for people. Undoubtedly, purchasing and fixing a large amount of security equipments in the large urban areas of the country consumes a lot of resources. Moreover, it is not easy to equipt all accident-prone areas with these machines. To illustrate, in China, higher authorities invested around 65% of the total allocated budget of security funds in buying security cameras and machinery. Oftentimes, the costs of investing in security devices is a way too high. In conclusion, in today's self-centered world, the government is stepping forward and taking initiates to curb with this increased crime. While the security measures taken by the authorities is a time taking and cost-inefficient process, the benefit it brings in reducing the crime rate by a higher rate is worth investing. Clearly, the advantages of preventing the thefts to occur in the first place are more beneficial than its basic disadvantages.
It is an irrefutable fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is increasing
exponentially
, nowadays. Although the installation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
devices is both time-consuming and expensive process, these will definitely be beneficial in reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
at which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
will deplete,
clearly
outnumbers the costs, and time incurred in the installation of safety equipments.

The major benefits of improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
services in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are the reduction in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
, and generating a sense of fear amongst thieves;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
committing any false deed.
In other words
, this will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the confidence of culprits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will
also
break their notion of not getting caught
easily
.
For example
, in a recent survey, in India, it
was found
that the trivial thefts like chain snatching, shoplifting and more,
were decreased
by a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
, when CCTV cameras
were installed
on the busy streets and shopping malls.
Hence
, these merits
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in creating a peaceful environment.

The basic challenges that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
face are the time, and money spent on making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
feel safe and secure for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Undoubtedly
, purchasing and fixing a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
equipments in the large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
of the country consumes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
resources.
Moreover
, it is not easy to
Possible spelling mistake found.
equipt all
accident-prone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
with these machines. To illustrate, in China, higher authorities invested around 65% of the total allocated budget of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
funds in buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
cameras and machinery. Oftentimes, the costs of investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
devices is a way too high.

In conclusion
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's self-centered world, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is stepping forward and taking initiates to curb with this increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
measures taken by the authorities is a time taking and cost-inefficient process, the benefit it brings in reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
by a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
is worth investing.
Clearly
, the advantages of preventing the thefts to occur in the
first
place are more beneficial than its basic disadvantages.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more measures to improve the security in large urban areas have been introduced in many countries because of the increased crime. Do the benefits of these measures outweigh the drawbacks? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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