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many people today want to set up and run their own business. do the advantages of this trend far outweigh the disavantages?

many people today want to set up and run their own business. do the advantages of this trend far outweigh the disavantages? pKAA3
It is without dispute that many people in today's world incline to run their own business instead of working for others. There are some pros and cons to this trend which I will examine in this further essay. To begin with, there are several benefits that we may enjoy from this trend. First of all, people will have more freedom when they are the owners of the companies. When working for others, people have to follow the rules and regulations, but this is not the case when they create their own rules for companies. A recent survey conducted in Vietnam shows that this component has made bad effect on working spirit of the people who works in others’ offices. Moreover, there is a sense among experts and people that this choice enables them to fully deploy their talents and make a lot of money. If they are founder of the companies, they can make use of their ability to fulfill their companies’ revenue without almost no limits. Nonetheless, the fact remains that this trend is not entirely free from drawbacks. When running the companies by their own, people can face with financial risk. It can be seen that, the amount of money paid for facilities, employees and so on is not small, hardly can they burden if they do not have enough money or support from their parents. In Vietnam, most wealthy people have high positions in society have succeed since they have enough money to maintain their companies. Inaddition, people who are the founder often work under a lot of pressure as they have a lot of responsibility. They have to work out the problems of the emloyees as well as customers to make them satisfied with the work place and services. For instance, a wise director know how to look beyond the development of the comanies by finding the way to please his partners and employees. In conclusion, notwithstanding some negative outcomes that this practice may cause to some people, I am finally convinced that its merits far outweigh the negative side. Hence, people should be encourages to start their own business when they have enough condition.
It is without dispute that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world incline to run their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business
instead
of working for others. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pros and cons to this trend which I will examine in this
further
essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several benefits that we may enjoy from this trend.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have more freedom when they are the owners of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. When working for others,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is not the case when they create their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. A recent survey conducted in Vietnam
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that this component has made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect on working spirit of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who works in others’ offices.
Moreover
, there is a sense among experts and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that this choice enables them to
fully
deploy their talents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. If they are
Consider using a past participle here: "foundered".
founder
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of their ability to fulfill their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies’
revenue without almost no limits.

Nonetheless, the fact remains that this trend is not
entirely
free from drawbacks. When running the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can face with financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
paid for facilities, employees and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
, hardly can they burden if they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or support from their parents. In Vietnam, most wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have high positions in society have
Use past participle here: "succeeded".
succeed
since they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to maintain their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Inaddition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are the founder
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
under
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pressure as they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
responsibility. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
out the problems of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
emloyees
as well
as customers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them satisfied with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place and services.
For instance
, a wise director know how to look beyond the development of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
comanies
by finding the way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
his partners and employees.

In conclusion
, notwithstanding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes that this practice may cause to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, I am
finally
convinced that its merits far outweigh the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be
Consider using the past participle "encouraged"?
encourages
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business when they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
condition.
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IELTS essay many people today want to set up and run their own business. do the advantages of this trend far outweigh the disavantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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