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Many people think that zoos, which keep wild animals in a man-made environment should no longer exist in the 21st century. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

I agree that there is no place for zoos in the 21st century. I feel that zoos are an unsuitable environment for animals, and therefore should be abolished. A number of arguments support my opinion. Firstly, zoo animals are kept in very confined areas with their vast natural habitat. Due to this, zoo animals develop unnatural habits like pacing back and forth or swaying from side to side. For example, polar bears are given about 10 metres of walking space, whereas in arctic home they roam for hundreds of kilometres. Similarly, lions and tigers are confined in cage where they lack exercise and stimulation. What is more, it is very common for visitors to tease and provoke caged animals. This also leads to unnatural behavior in animals. Secondly, the breeding programmes taken up by zoos are not very successful. For instance, the 'Panda Breeding programme' has been very costly and unsuccessful. Also, zoos life does not prepare animals for the challenges of life in the world. They are provided good food because they cannot hunt for themselves. Finally, the zoo is an unnatural environment that exposes animals to many dangers. Diseases often spread between species that would never live together naturally. For example, many Asian elephants have died in African zoos after catching herpes from African elephants. To sum up, I would reiterate my opinion that zoos are unnatural habitats for the wild animals and there is no justification in caging these marvelous creatures of God.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that there is no place for zoos in the 21st century. I feel that zoos are an unsuitable environment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, and
therefore
should
be abolished
. A number of arguments support my opinion.
Firstly
, zoo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
confined areas with their vast natural habitat. Due to this, zoo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unnatural
habits like pacing back and forth or swaying from side to side.
For example
, polar bears are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
about 10
Possible spelling mistake. ‘metres’ is British English.
metres
of walking space, whereas in arctic home they roam for hundreds of
Possible spelling mistake. ‘kilometres’ is British English.
kilometres
.
Similarly
, lions and tigers
are confined
in cage where they lack exercise and stimulation.
What is more
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common for visitors to tease and provoke caged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. This
also
leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unnatural
behavior in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Secondly
, the breeding
Possible spelling mistake. ‘programmes’ is British English.
programmes
taken up by zoos are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
successful.
For instance
, the 'Panda Breeding
Possible spelling mistake. ‘programme’ is British English.
programme
' has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly and unsuccessful.
Also
, zoos life does not prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for the challenges of life in the world. They
are provided
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cannot hunt for themselves.
Finally
, the zoo is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unnatural
environment that exposes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
. Diseases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
spread between species that would never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together
naturally
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Asian elephants have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
in African zoos after catching herpes from African elephants. To sum up, I would reiterate my opinion that zoos are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unnatural
habitats for the wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and there is no justification in caging these marvelous creatures of God.
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IELTS essay Many people think that zoos, which keep wild animals in a man-made environment should no longer exist in the 21st century. with this statement

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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