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Many people think that young should be free to choose their job on the other hand many people think that they should be realistic and think more related their regarding their future. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion..

Many people think that young should be free to choose their job on the other hand many people think that they should be realistic and think more related their regarding their future. . k5Ydd
A section of society suggest that youngster ought to be free to choose their professional life on the other hand a many masters of find that there should be realistic and think more regarding their upcoming live in this as a first I will discuss both the prospective and then reduce my own opinion. Proponents of the first viewpoint contended that, if young people should free to choose their job then they waste more time because they have many choices and they do not concentrate on particular one but, if they take advice their family and experience people they choose easily without wasting time. Moreover, youngsters have no experience and deep knowledge regarding job. To say it, after complete their education they find job but they have not any kind of knowledge which job is good for their career and how they can earn more. For example, A survey was conducted by an Oxford University in year 2018 in the India and found that 72% of workers doing a job on less salary because they have not proper knowledge about which job provide better pay scale to them this leads to lack of their own value. Advocate of second side maintain that, if one ought to be more realistic and worry about their future then they become more successful in their life because they spend more time to search job and discuss with those masses who are doing job in same field after completing their relevant study. Apart from this, in the present era, masses have more options to their future due to the fact that technology helps in many ways but it only possible if person show interest to gain success in their life otherwise all things are waste. In my opinion, it is clear from the above discussion that althought youngsters have right to choose their professional life according their interest but, if they take advice their older than it is helpful for their future because they have experience regarding that situation.
A section of society suggest that youngster ought to be free to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
on the other hand
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
masters of find that there should be realistic and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
more regarding their upcoming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in this as a
first
I will discuss both the prospective and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

Proponents of the
first
viewpoint contended that, if young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should free to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
then they waste more time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
choices and
they do not concentrate on particular one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, if they take advice their family and experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
easily
without wasting time.
Moreover
, youngsters have no experience and deep knowledge regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. To say it, after complete their education they find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have not any kind of knowledge which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their career and how they can earn more.
For example
, A survey
was conducted
by an Oxford University in year 2018 in the India and found that 72% of workers doing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
on less salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have not proper knowledge about which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
provide better pay scale to them this leads to lack of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
value.

Advocate of second side maintain that, if one ought to be more realistic and worry about their future
Did you mean "than"?
then
they become more successful in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they spend more time to search
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and discuss with those masses who are doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in same field after completing their relevant study. Apart from this, in the present era, masses have more options to their future due to the fact that technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
It seems that a verb is missing.
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible if person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
interest to gain success in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
otherwise
all things are waste.

In my opinion, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the above discussion that
Possible spelling mistake found.
althought
youngsters have right to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
according their interest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, if they take advice their older than it is helpful for their future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have experience regarding that situation.
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IELTS essay Many people think that young should be free to choose their job on the other hand many people think that they should be realistic and think more related their regarding their future. .

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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