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Many people think that working shedule of parents is reason why teenagers are facing social problems. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people think that working shedule of parents is reason why teenagers are facing social problems. rad1p
The nuclear family of today is much different than that of fifty years ago. It is increasingly common for both parents to work, and this is often argued to be the cause of social problems among their teenage children. It is agreed that the social problems adolescents often experience are the direct result of their parents busy work schedules. This will be proven by looking at a Canadian case study of this phenomenon in action as well as the universal correlation that exists between youth social problems and neglectful parents. Firstly, teenagers of absent parents often do not get the direction they need to develop as socially competent individuals. For example, it has been statistically proven that depressed teenagers in Canada typically interact with their parents less than one hour per day. This example makes it clear that without parental guidance adolescent people develop social abnormalities. Thus, it is clear that parents need to prioritize more time for their teenage children, even if this means reducing the number of hours they work. Secondly, statistics clearly show a link between parental neglect and the numbers of youths afflicted with social problems. For instance, the number of teenagers suffering with anxiety is a figure that moves in tandem with the number of dual-income households. The positive correlation between these trends makes it obvious that parents who work too much are acting as a detriment to the mental welfare of their children. It is thus clear that parents need to spend less time working for the sake of their offspring. After analyzing this topic, it can be seen that parents who spend copious amounts of time away from their children cause more harm than good. Thus, it is recommended that the modern family budget time for their developing young people.
The nuclear family of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Did you mean 'different "from"? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
than
that of fifty years ago. It is
increasingly
common for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to work, and this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued to be the cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
among their teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
adolescents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
experience are the direct result of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
busy work schedules. This will
be proven
by looking at a Canadian case study of this phenomenon in action
as well
as the universal correlation that exists between youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and neglectful parents.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
of absent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the direction they need to develop as
socially
competent individuals.
For example
, it has been
statistically
proven that depressed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in Canada
typically
interact with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
less than one hour per day. This example
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that without parental guidance adolescent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
abnormalities.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
need to prioritize more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, even if this means reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of hours they work.

Secondly
, statistics
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a link between parental neglect and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of youths afflicted with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
suffering with anxiety is a figure that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
in tandem with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of dual-income households. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
correlation between these trends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who work too much are acting as a detriment to the mental welfare of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It is
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
need to spend less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
working for the sake of their offspring.

After analyzing this topic, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who spend copious amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
away from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cause more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
Thus
, it
is recommended
that the modern family budget
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their developing young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
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IELTS essay Many people think that working shedule of parents is reason why teenagers are facing social problems.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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