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Many people think that rap music is bad for younger generations.

Many people think that rap music is bad for younger generations. 6KrJ3
In the modern busy life, music has played an important role in the entertainment for young individuals. While some people think rap music is not good for younger generations, I would argue that it is a positive tendency if it is developed in a suitable way. There are several reasons why most people presume that rap music is bad. The first reason is that rap is a style of music that not many people can listen to and understand about the content of the song. Secondly, many authors are often active students who left school very soon and this leads to different views by people about rap music. However, I believe that listening to rap music can help to release stress and work better. Firstly, the melody of this style is flexible, meaning that a person who pursues rap music can create some songs by their inspiration. For instance, when a person is working, he can become a singer of rap via noting his thought during the process of working. The second suggestion is that rap music can draw our life through the lyrics. An example of this idea is Den Vau, he is a rap singer and he wrote many songs about our society. His songs are achieved great compliments because listeners can see themselves when they are hearing his songs. Moreover, rap music also creates a positive motivation. We can know that there are lots of people who can not express their emotions due to a lack of confidence. Rap music can help them to become more confident when they stand on the stage and sing their song. For example, via programs as Rap Viet or King Of Rap, we can find out some talents about this style and this will help to make people change their thought about a person who creates rap songs and the author of the songs. In summary, nowadays, the potential of music is currently improving in modern society. Although some people still do not really agree with this new style of music like rap, that rap music can be developed because of its advantages toward our life in one day.
In the modern busy life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has played an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the entertainment for young individuals. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
rap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for younger generations, I would argue that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
tendency if it
is developed
Consider replacing "in a suitable way" with the adverb for "suitable"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a suitable way
.

There are several reasons why most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
presume that rap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. The
first
reason is that rap is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
that not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can listen to and understand about the content of the song.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
authors are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
active students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
and this leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about rap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
However
, I believe that listening to rap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to release
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and work better.
Firstly
, the melody of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
is flexible, meaning that a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
pursues rap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
songs by their inspiration.
For instance
, when a person is working, he can become a singer of rap via noting his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
during the process of working. The second suggestion is that rap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can draw our life through the lyrics. An example of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is Den
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vau
, he is a rap
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
singer and
he wrote
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
songs about our society. His songs
are achieved
great compliments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
listeners can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
themselves when they
The verb 'hearing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are hearing
his songs.
Moreover
, rap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
also
creates a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
motivation. We can know that there are lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can not express their emotions due to a lack of confidence. Rap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to become more confident when they stand on the stage and sing their song.
For example
, via programs as Rap
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
or King Of Rap, we can find out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
talents about this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
and this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
about a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
creates rap songs and the author of the songs.

In summary, nowadays, the potential of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
currently
improving in modern society. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
do not
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
like rap, that rap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can
be developed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its advantages toward our life in one day.
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IELTS essay Many people think that rap music is bad for younger generations.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
358 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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