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Many people think that public celebrations like national holidays, festivals are a waste of money and that the government should spend these funds in a better way. Do you agree or disagree?

One of the most controversial issues these days is that whether the government of various countries avoid spending money on public celebrations. Although I believe that they are vital, I completely disagree with these nations and explicit them in the subsequent paragraphs. To begin with, some people argue that investing such a huge amount of money is impractical, instead of this they claim that it would be logical to fund them for other necessities. One of them is to build power plants which support cities with an energy. The second one is to orginise local and international charity funds. This is because some people all over the globe are suffering with curable ailments which are treated simly by using vaccines. Thus, it is beneficial to spend these investments for people needs. Meanwhile, it will be illogical if we do not organise or celebrate our traditional holidays. For example, Christmas is a worldwide celebrating day may be a tangible point to prove my view. Further, these celebrations teach young people how to enter a healthy lifestyle by telling ancient tales about knights and heroes. Therefore, it is important to form such vital festivals. By way of conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above it seems to me that organizing holidays such as Christmas or Independent day depends on the specific circumstances of people.
One of the most controversial issues these days is that whether the
government
of various countries avoid spending money on public celebrations. Although I believe that they are vital, I completely disagree with these nations and explicit them in the subsequent paragraphs.

To
begin
with,
some
people
argue that investing such a huge amount of money is impractical,
instead
of this they claim that it would be logical to fund them for other necessities. One of them is to build power plants which support cities with an energy. The second one is to
orginise
local and international charity funds. This is
because
some
people
all over the globe are suffering with curable ailments which
are treated
simly
by using vaccines.
Thus
, it is beneficial to spend these investments for
people
needs
.

Meanwhile, it will be illogical if we do not
organise
or celebrate our traditional holidays.
For example
, Christmas is a worldwide celebrating day may be a tangible point to prove my view.
Further
, these celebrations teach young
people
how to enter a healthy lifestyle by telling ancient tales about knights and heroes.
Therefore
, it is
important
to form such vital festivals.

By way of conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above it seems to me that organizing holidays such as Christmas or Independent day depends on the specific circumstances of
people
.
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IELTS essay Many people think that public celebrations like national holidays, festivals are a waste of money and that the government should spend these funds in a better way.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
221 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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