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Dangerous sports should be banned. Do you agree or disagree

It is true that dangerous sports are developing in these days. While some people think it should be banned because of harmful impact to persons' lives and their families, in my opinion it should be free for humans' desires, progress of the sports as well as for money making. To begin with, dangerous sports have several harmful effects. Firstly, due to their dangerous nature. They should be banned as there are numerous cases of other athlets suffering injuries and even death while taking part in sports and other activities which many people would not normally consider as dangerous. Secondly, human life id undoubtedly precious. For example, if somebody dies because of dangerous sports, his family bacome upset. Additionally, dangerous sports are also detrimental for the enviroment, especially for animals. For instance, there are some sports like horsing might damage animals. However, I support the view of those who think government should continue to allow using it freely. There are a certain reasons why government should allow risky sports. The first one is that most people tend doing activities which they want. Such as, if somebody become overwhelming with his study or work, he might go somewhere to do some extreme sports in order to releave stress. Another advantage belonging to this is that it has a positive impact on individuals' health. It makes them physically and mentally stronger, increases their muscle tone, endurance and strenght. In addition, athlets can earn more money, when they become popular. They receive a huge amount of money as a prize from competetions. For example, our national boxer Shaxram Giyasov became richer after he won a silver medal in 2016 from Olympic Games. In conclusion, in my and some other people' viewpoints, despite the drawbacks of its, unsafe sports should not be banned
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are developing in these days. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it should
be banned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of harmful impact to persons'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and their families, in my opinion it should be free for humans' desires, progress of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as well
as for money making. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have several harmful effects.
Firstly
, due to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
nature. They should
be banned
as there are numerous cases of other
Possible spelling mistake found.
athlets
suffering injuries and even death while taking part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and other activities which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would not
normally
consider as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
.
Secondly
, human life id
undoubtedly
precious.
For example
, if somebody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, his family
Possible spelling mistake found.
bacome
upset.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
also
detrimental for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
enviroment
,
especially
for animals.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
like horsing might damage animals.
However
, I support the view of those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should continue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
using it
freely
. There are a certain reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
risky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. The
first
one is that most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend doing activities which they want. Such as, if somebody become overwhelming with his study or work, he might go somewhere to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in order to
Possible spelling mistake found.
releave
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. Another advantage belonging to this is that it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on individuals' health. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
physically
and mentally stronger, increases their muscle tone, endurance and
Possible spelling mistake found.
strenght
.
In addition
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
athlets
can earn more money, when they become popular. They receive a huge amount of money as a prize from
Possible spelling mistake found.
competetions
.
For example
, our national boxer
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shaxram
Possible spelling mistake found.
Giyasov
became richer after he won a silver medal in 2016 from Olympic Games.
In conclusion
, in my and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
' viewpoints, despite the drawbacks of its, unsafe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should not be
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
banned
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IELTS essay Dangerous sports should be banned.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
297 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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