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Q: 2. In some countries, young people are not only richer but also safer and healthier than ever before. However, they are often less happy. What do you think are the reasons for this and what can be done to help?

The fact that youngsters are in the better condition from each aspects like wealth, health and safety would not support the idea of being happier in comparison with past. Several reasons could play key role to this change such as higher self-expectation, different life style and the change in communication ways which this article is going to debate the problems happened due to the reasons. Life expectancy is higher in compare to past days, which not only leads people to live longer, but also force them to be far more ambitious. More ambitious feeling they have, less satisfied they are in the individual life. Young generation tends to work 24/7 to achieve all of the goals they had set. To mention an example, the mean work hours in a day in America is about 8 hours which concerned experts. In addition, the term “workaholic” is not a weird adjective for workers any more. Thanks to technology developments, on the one hand, people are in more rush to meet the expectations via utilizing myriad gadgets to ease the process. On the other hand, It creates more stressful moments which is noticeable. A good example is using mobile phone during the day to facilitate the communications that unfortunately causes lots of undeniable damages like, brain injuries, hearing problems and lots of tensions. However, various diet plans are common nowadays, they are not scientific all the time. Although colorful food diets help losing weight apparently, they leads several side effects such as depression or anxiety. For instance, research are shown in America, teenagers who try to imitate a celebrity’s life style, like their body shape or beauty, tend to suicide 10 times more than others. To sum up, there is not an actual key for being happier like money, health or safety in a term, whereas knowing how to manage these factors in order to have a better life would make you glad.
The fact that youngsters

are in the better condition from each
aspects
like wealth, health and safety would not support the
idea
of being happier
in comparison
with past. Several reasons could play key role to this
change
such as higher self-expectation,
different
life style
and the
change
in communication ways which this article is going to debate the problems happened due to the reasons.

Life expectancy is higher in compare to past days, which not
only
leads
people
to
live
longer,
but
also
force them to be far more ambitious. More ambitious feeling they have, less satisfied they are in the individual life.

Young generation tends to work 24/7 to achieve
all of the
goals they had set. To mention an example, the mean work hours in a day in America is about 8 hours which concerned experts.
In addition
, the term “workaholic” is not a weird adjective for workers
any more
.

Thanks to technology developments, on the one hand,
people
are in more rush to
meet
the expectations via utilizing myriad gadgets to
ease
the process.
On the other hand
, It creates more stressful moments which is noticeable.

A
good
example is using mobile phone during the day to facilitate the communications that unfortunately causes lots of undeniable damages like, brain injuries, hearing problems and lots of tensions.

However
, various diet plans are common nowadays, they are not scientific all the time. Although colorful food diets
help
losing
weight
apparently
, they
leads
several side effects such as depression or anxiety.
For instance
, research
are shown
in America,
teenagers
who try to imitate a celebrity’s
life style
, like their body shape or beauty, tend to suicide 10 times more than others.

To sum up, there is not an actual key for being happier like money, health or safety in a term, whereas knowing how to manage these factors in order to have a better life would
make
you glad.
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IELTS essay Q: 2. In some countries, young people are not only richer but also safer and healthier than ever before. However, they are often less happy. What do you think are the reasons for this and what can be done to help?

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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