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Many people think that Parents play a better role when it comes to developing their children intellectually and socially than teachers.Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Many people think that Parents play a better role when it comes to developing their children intellectually and socially than teachers. ENpqx
Recently, there have been a long ongoing discussions among people that whether parents play an enormous role in developing their children socially, intellectually, or teachers. Though many people believe that parents, guardians are responsible, yet in my opinion, I strongly believe that educationalists play a significant role in one socialization. The most preponderant reason for considering why teachers are more likely to enhance these skills in children is because they are experts abundance of knowledge in their field. To elucidate nowadays parents of most of the children are working due to which they are unable to teach their children in their leisure times. Therefore, on the other hand, teachers adequately teach every single student with detailed information of any question. In this way mentors utilise children's productive time in developing their cognitive skills. In addition tutors also plays magnificent role in developing children's social life. For instance, when group activities in school such as quizzes and games are organised, then minors tend to learn group activities like Corporation leadership and most importantly how to become a social animal. Also, some excursions to historical places organised by their mentors develop children's societal knowledge. However, it would be a matter of imprudence to ignore parents importance in one's life. Many critics believe that parents are first tutors of childrens. Similarly, before going to kindergartens, they teach them how to greet someone who is close to them and how to ignore unknown people. They often send their children to nearby shops for purchasing and teach them how to do basic calculations. To recapitulate, while many people hold an opinion that parents performed better than teachers in developing skills, I firmly Restate that aforementioned plausible points in favour of teachers are indeed too great to ignore.
Recently, there have been a long ongoing
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "discussion"?
discussions
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play an enormous role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
socially
,
intellectually
, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. Though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, guardians are responsible,
yet
in my opinion, I
strongly
believe that educationalists play a significant role in one socialization.

The most preponderant reason for considering why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are more likely to enhance these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are experts abundance of knowledge in their field. To elucidate nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
of most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are working due to which they are unable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in their leisure times.
Therefore
,
on the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
adequately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
every single student with detailed information of any question. In this way mentors
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
children's productive time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
their cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
tutors
also
plays magnificent role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
children's social life.
For instance
, when group activities in school such as quizzes and games are
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
, then minors tend to learn group activities like Corporation leadership and most
importantly
how to become a social animal.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
excursions to historical places
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
by their mentors develop children's societal knowledge.

However
, it would be a matter of imprudence to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
importance in one's life.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
critics believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
first
tutors of
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
.
Similarly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going to kindergartens, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
them how to greet someone who is close to them and how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
unknown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to nearby shops for purchasing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
them how to do basic calculations.

To recapitulate, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold an opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
performed better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, I
firmly
Restate that aforementioned plausible points in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are
indeed
too great to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
.
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IELTS essay Many people think that Parents play a better role when it comes to developing their children intellectually and socially than teachers.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
292 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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