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Many people think that it is unnecsesary to support arts and culture by the funding of the government? What is your opinion

Many people think that it is unnecsesary to support arts and culture by the funding of the government? What is your opinion OgxlN
The majority of people believe that it is unnecessary to use the funding of the government on art and culture. Instead, it should be wasted on other resident’s needs such as education or health. From my perspective, I strongly disagree with this belief. There are numerous advantages in supporting the field of arts. First of all, because of the development of technology, people tend to pay more attention to technical topics such as games, or electronic devices than the knowledge about art or culture. As a result, the expenditure on art and culture plays an important role in raising awareness to people about this field. Furthermore, each nation has its meanings through its art and culture. Therefore, it is crucial for young people, especially teenagers, to broaden their knowledge about culture to deeply understand the core values of their nations. For instance, in many educational systems, students are compelled to study History and Arts to be aware of their nations’ past. On the other hand, there are some reasonable reasons why the public budget should be spent on other purposes. Since society is developing rapidly, the number of problems in a nation is taken into consideration such as unemployment and poverty. To tackle those problems, the governments should spend a huge amount of money to improve the quality of their nations instead of wasting money on arts. For example, since South Africa has faced poverty throughout the years, their residents never pay any attention to culture; they spend all their money on improving their lives quality. Not only that, many individuals or organizations are now able to afford concerts or cultural events by their budget. As a result, some people might find it unnecessary to develop art and culture with public funding. In conclusion, I strongly agree that the government should also spend a specific amount of money on art and cultures. Nevertheless, there are several reasons why a majority of people disagree with this view.
The majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is unnecessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the funding of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
Instead
, it should
be wasted
on other resident’s needs such as education or health. From my perspective, I
strongly
disagree with this belief.

There are numerous advantages in supporting the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the development of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to pay more attention to technical topics such as games, or electronic devices than the knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
As a result
, the expenditure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in raising awareness to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about this field.
Furthermore
, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
has its meanings through its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
Therefore
, it is crucial for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, to broaden their knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
to
deeply
understand the core values of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
educational systems, students
are compelled
to study History and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
to be aware of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations’
past.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasonable reasons why the public budget should
be spent
on other purposes. Since society is developing
rapidly
, the number of problems in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
is taken
into consideration such as unemployment and poverty. To tackle those problems, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should spend a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
instead
of wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
.
For example
, since South Africa has faced poverty throughout the years, their residents never pay any attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
; they spend all their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on improving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
quality. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals or organizations are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
able to afford concerts or cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
by their budget.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might find it unnecessary to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
with public funding.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
also
spend a specific amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
Nevertheless
, there are several reasons why a majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disagree with this view.
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IELTS essay Many people think that it is unnecsesary to support arts and culture by the funding of the government? What is your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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