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Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe there are other external factors that influence us. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe there are other external factors that influence us. v. 3
Everyone cherishes a happy life be whether it is based on internal or external factors. According to my belief, nowadays the perspective towards state of being happy has totally changed. Most are of the opinion that it comes from within, however, others argue that our surroundings are responsible for a blissful lifestyle. Both the points will be covered in the forthcoming paragraphs with the relevant ideas and the supporting examples. Contentment is not linked to materialistic world and the presence of loving friends & family members around us. It is rather a mere choice. In my view, One can still feel whole and elated, if there is no one to cheer us up. Even adequate resources can suffice the person. Like, a large section of citizens who are living in poverty seem to be living satisfactory, although, they have scant amenities. Therefore, it is solely your decision to either embrace your current condition or complain about it. Nevertheless, there is another part of the society who strongly reckon that it is almost impossible to be fulfilled without attaining success, comforts and other luxurious items. I simply feel that it is predominantly the mindset of human beings to acquire high social status they must posses wealth. For instance, as per the study conducted in the USA, it was proved that a massive sector of affluent society Is less happy than the other middle class families. Acquisition of material can definitely bring a cheerful smile on the face, which is certainly will be temporary. In the conclusion, extravagant life has a relatively less impact on the happiness. Pleasure can only be achieved with inner will.
Everyone cherishes a happy life be whether it
is based
on internal or external factors. According to my belief, nowadays the perspective towards state of being happy has
totally
changed
. Most are of the opinion that it
comes
from within,
however
, others argue that our surroundings are responsible for a blissful lifestyle. Both the points will
be covered
in the forthcoming paragraphs with the relevant
ideas
and the supporting examples.

Contentment is not linked to materialistic world and the presence of loving friends & family members around us. It is
rather
a mere choice. In my view, One can
still
feel whole and elated, if there is no one to cheer us up. Even adequate resources can suffice the person. Like, a large section of citizens who are living in poverty seem to be living satisfactory, although, they have scant amenities.
Therefore
, it is
solely
your decision to either embrace your
current
condition or complain about it.

Nevertheless
, there is another part of the society who
strongly
reckon that it is almost impossible to
be fulfilled
without attaining success, comforts and other luxurious items. I
simply
feel that it is
predominantly
the mindset of human beings to acquire high social status they
must posses
wealth.
For instance
, as per the study conducted in the USA, it
was proved
that a massive sector of affluent society Is less happy than the other middle
class
families. Acquisition of material can definitely bring a cheerful smile on the face, which is
certainly
will be temporary.

In the conclusion, extravagant life has a
relatively
less impact on the happiness. Pleasure can
only
be achieved
with inner will.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe there are other external factors that influence us. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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