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Many people think technological devices such as smart phones, tablets and mobile phones bring more disadvantages than advantages. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

A large number of people say that technological inventions such as smart phones, pads and mobile phones make more negative impacts than benefits. I absolutely disagree with this statement and I consider that the benefits outweigh the negatives. My reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs. Firstly, technological inventions are made to make facilities for humans and to make life easier. Now, every individual has its own electronic devices, and we can not imagine our modern life without them. Indeed, electronic devices help us to keep in touch with other people whether we live far from them. For example, there are several types of applications on smart phones to help us to communicate with others no matter how far from us. Additionally, I usually use WhatsApp application on my smart phone to talk with my relatives who live in Russia. Furthermore, modern society use some facilities on technological devices to facilitate their life, and one of the most common convenience is that people can buy everything what ever they want by online shops. If someone has electronic devices such as smart phones, he will be able to do shop through the internet without going outside. Most of the people in Uzbekistan use this facility and they economize their time. In conclusion, gadgets are made to satisfy humans needs and to make life easier. I strongly agree that technological devices bring more benefits than its downsides.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use “many” or “numerous”
A large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
inventions such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, pads and mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts than benefits. I
absolutely
disagree with this statement and I consider that the benefits outweigh the negatives. My reasons will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in the following paragraphs.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
inventions
are made
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
facilities for humans and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easier.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, every individual has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
, and we can not imagine our modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without them.
Indeed
, electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whether we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far from them.
For example
, there are several types of applications on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to communicate with others no matter how far from us.
Additionally
, I
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
WhatsApp application on my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
to talk with my relatives who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Russia.

Furthermore
, modern society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
facilities on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
to facilitate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and one of the most common
Please check whether a plural form of ‘convenience’ should be used.
convenience
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
everything what ever they want by online shops. If someone has electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, he will be able to do shop through the internet without going outside. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Uzbekistan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
facility and
they economize their time.

In conclusion
, gadgets
are made
to satisfy humans needs and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easier. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
bring more benefits than its downsides.
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IELTS essay Many people think technological devices such as smart phones, tablets and mobile phones bring more disadvantages than advantages.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
236 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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