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advantages and disadvantages of smartphones

The negatives and positives about smartphones. Since 1994 that the first smartphones released, they become one of the most important things among the people. They have shown many different performances. But of course, this pocket computers have their own advantages and disadvantages. Today I am going to talk about 2 of their most important negative and positive point. So, let us just get started. +: Easier for socializing Unfortunately, nowadays because of new waves of improvement among the people, parent’s expectations have gotten really high. Because of that, in few percentage children communication and connection skills to society doesn’t improve so much. Hopefully, internet is the best place they can communicate with the others. In this case, they don’t need face to face communication to cause them panic or anxiety. They can have perfect time chatting with their friends or strangers. Even they can train with their smartphones to break through their anti-socializing personality. -: Access to all kind of data. Welp, this one of the worst things about not only smartphone, but every kind of data-base electronic devise. If you are a well cultured and polite teenager or grown man, it isn’t a very big deal because you can control its effect. But this isn’t a property of every smartphone user. That’s why parents should be careful. I don’t mean parents must control their children. No. this is a torture for children. They have this right to like any kind of data or things they like. But first thing first, based on your own child’s personality, you should ask this question: (can my child control its effects? ) and if no, then this is the time you should enter the ring and do something. +: Easier to afford Phones are perfect for any kind if family. They are far cheaper than a pc or laptop. We can say phone is some kind of computer. And they can do literally everything that a normal computer can do. With few problems, they are the best communication devises for poor and cheap families. They also have some superiorities to computers or laptops. They can be transported to every place with no problem. They can be used in any times. They are quite devises and definitely have more advantages in term of equipment. But most importantly, they don’t need a really big mouse or keyboard. -: Not that good for some works. Unfortunately, smartphones never had the power even close to computers or laptops. Because of that, this is common to see pc have some really big advantages. For example, in term of apps. All of apps for smartphones have their special limits. But if you use the same app on computer, the only problem you would have is systems equipment (like ram, cpu, graphic and …. ). and another very big faint about smartphones is they need charge. This was my own opinion about smartphones negative and positive points. There are many things about this subject. But most of them are boring cliché that parents always argue with us about them. So I tried my best to use tips that weren’t used most of the times.
The negatives and positives about smartphones.

Since 1994 that the
first
smartphones released, they become one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. They have shown
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
performances.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
of course
, this pocket computers have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages and disadvantages.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
I am going to talk about 2 of their most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
point.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
.

+: Easier for socializing

Unfortunately, nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of new waves of improvement among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
expectations have gotten
really
high.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that, in few percentage children communication and connection
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to society doesn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much.
Hopefully
, internet is the best place they can communicate with the others.
In this case
, they don’t need face to face communication to cause them panic or anxiety. They can have perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
chatting with their friends or strangers. Even they can train with their smartphones to break through their anti-socializing personality.

Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
: Access to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of data.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Welp
, this one of the worst things about not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
smartphone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of data-base electronic devise. If you are a well cultured and polite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
or grown
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
, it isn’t a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
deal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you can control its effect.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this isn’t a property of every smartphone user. That’s why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should be careful. I don’t mean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
control their children. No. this is a torture for children. They have this right to like any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of data or things they like.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
first
thing
first
, based on your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
child’s personality, you should ask this question: (can my child control its effects?
Don’t put a space before the closing parenthesis.
)
and if no, then this is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
you should enter the ring and do something.

+: Easier to afford

Phones are perfect for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
Did you mean “of”?
if
family. They are far cheaper than a
Possible spelling mistake found.
pc
or laptop. We can say phone is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of computer. And they can do
literally
everything that a normal computer can do. With few problems, they are the best communication devises for poor and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
families. They
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
superiorities
to computers or laptops. They can
be transported
to every place with no problem.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
are quite devises and definitely have more advantages
Did you mean the commonly used phrase “in terms of”?
in term of
equipment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
most
importantly
, they don’t need a
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
mouse or keyboard.

Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
: Not that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
works.

Unfortunately, smartphones never had the power even close to computers or laptops.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that, this is common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
Possible spelling mistake found.
pc
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
advantages.
For example
,
Did you mean the commonly used phrase “in terms of”?
in term of
apps.
Consider using “All apps” or “All of the apps”.
All of apps
for smartphones have their special limits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the same app on computer, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
problem you would have is systems equipment (like ram,
Possible spelling mistake found.
cpu
, graphic and ….
Don’t put a space before the closing parenthesis.
)
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
and
another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
faint about smartphones is they need charge.

This was my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion about smartphones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things about this subject.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
most of them are boring cliché that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
always argue with us about them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I tried my best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
tips that weren’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
.
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IELTS essay advantages and disadvantages of smartphones

Essay
  American English
10 paragraphs
524 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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