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It is often said retirement is the happiest time of a person’s life. How far do you agree?

That retirement is mostly claimed to bring utmost level of contentment in every person's life is the idea that seems to be refuted on account of the likelihood of physical disorders emerging for the retired in addition to the inadequate income. One major drive of the impracticality of such a notion would be that being aged, those who are retired or of high chance to be riddled with a number of inefficiencies in the mechanism of their bodies. Examples of such physical malfunctions could be seen in cardiovascular diseases, arthritis, and Parkinson which would appear to deter this population from accomplishing their daily tasks even pursuing their personal interests. This can make the retired highly dependent upon others ranging from their own families to nurses. This could thwart their self-confidence, gradually making them detach from their surroundings. The lack of communal contact, thus, in the long run, would give rise to the possibility of their depression. A second rationale behind the failure of the theory of the retired being the most contended could be that the pension that this early population receive from government would not be sufficient for the pensioners to cope with their day-to-day sheer costs such as health, accommodation, and family expenditures. These prohibitive expenses, albeit to some extent possible to be ameliorated through having part-time jobs, seem to be not fully met. This unaffordability could act as a stumbling block on the path to the retiree’s mental tranquility, inundating them with long-term repercussions of high levels of stress. This tension, accordingly, could minimize their happiness. In the light of the above-mentioned analysis, with regard to the question of whether retirement can maximize a person's satisfaction or not, this argument appears to be debunked due to the feasibility of health-related issues as well as monetary concerns for the elderly.
That retirement is
mostly
claimed to bring utmost level of contentment in every person's life is the
idea
that seems to
be refuted
on account of the likelihood of physical disorders emerging for the
retired
in addition
to the inadequate income.

One major drive of the impracticality of such a notion would be that
being aged
, those who are
retired
or of high chance to
be riddled
with a number of inefficiencies in the mechanism of their bodies. Examples of such physical malfunctions could be
seen
in cardiovascular diseases, arthritis, and Parkinson which would appear to deter this population from accomplishing their daily tasks even pursuing their personal interests. This can
make
the
retired
highly
dependent upon others ranging from their
own
families to nurses. This could thwart their self-confidence,
gradually
making them detach from their surroundings. The lack of communal contact,
thus
, in the long run, would give rise to the possibility of their depression.

A second rationale behind the failure of the theory of the
retired
being the most contended could be that the pension that this early population receive from
government
would not be sufficient for the pensioners to cope with their day-to-day sheer costs such as health, accommodation, and family expenditures. These prohibitive expenses, albeit to
some
extent possible to
be ameliorated
through having part-time jobs, seem to be not
fully
met. This
unaffordability
could act as a stumbling block on the path to the retiree’s mental tranquility, inundating them with long-term repercussions of high levels of
stress
. This tension,
accordingly
, could minimize their happiness.

In the light of the above-mentioned analysis, with regard to
the question of whether
retirement can maximize a person's satisfaction or not, this argument appears to
be debunked
due to the feasibility of health-related issues
as well
as monetary concerns for the elderly.
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IELTS essay It is often said retirement is the happiest time of a person’s life. How far do you agree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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