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Fewer people today visit museums than in the past. Why is this? What can be done to encourage more people to visit museums in the future?

There is not too many people who love to go to museums nowadays consequently they do that quite frequently in the past. There is some kind of reason of this proplem and we are going to mention in this essay. The reason is development of technologhy. As we know it is developing day by day and this has been causing lots of various change in our life consequently this fact is one of the reason for people do not visit museums. For example they prefer playing different games, watching TV ans spending time on social media. Another reason of this problem is that in comparison of the past there is more place such as cafes, restuarants, parks and entartainment places on the contrary this places did not exist in the past consequently people did not have many places for going and spending time and by this opportunity they realize the beauty of that place. For instance, there was a number of museums, cinemas, theaters and people spent their time there. Solution of this problem is solvable so that creating a curiasity for youngs about musiams. If the governments attemt that people wonder about their history or arts, people would visit museums often. For examle, while people studying at school and learning history, teachers can organize an excursion and take away them to museums for learning lots of information about that topic. İf students saw that how museums amazing and gorgeus places then they would always go to see different type of museums. As a result they start to be interested in museums. İn conclusion, we realize that the reason of decreasing which people do not wonder about museums is the change of revolotion of time and tecnology. On the contrary, a number of excursion to museums could be helpfull for people.
There is not too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
nowadays
consequently
they do that quite
frequently
in the past. There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of this
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
proplem and
we are going to mention in this essay.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is development of
Possible spelling mistake found.
technologhy
. As we know it is developing day by day and this has been causing lots of various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in our life
consequently
this fact is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
. For
The comma is probably missing here: “example, they”.
example they
prefer playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
games, watching TV
Did you mean “and”?
ans
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on social media. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of this problem is that
in comparison
of the past there is more
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place
such as
‘cafes’ is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using “cafés”
cafes
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
restuarants
, parks and
Possible spelling mistake found.
entartainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
on the contrary
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
did not exist in the past
consequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for going and spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and by this opportunity they realize the beauty of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
For instance
, there was a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
, cinemas, theaters and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spent their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
there.

Solution of this problem is solvable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that creating a
Possible spelling mistake found.
curiasity
for
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean “young”, the plural form of the noun ‘young’?
youngs
about
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musiams
. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
Possible spelling mistake found.
attemt
that
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people
wonder about their history or arts,
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people
would visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
. For
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examle
, while
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people
studying at school and learning history, teachers can organize an excursion and take away them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
for learning lots of information about that topic.
Possible spelling mistake found.
İf
students s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
aw
that how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
amazing and
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gorgeus
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places
then they would always go to s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ee
d
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ifferent
type of
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museums
. A
s a result
they s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tart
to
be interested
in museums.

Possible spelling mistake found.
İn
conclusion, we realize that the
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reason
of decreasing which pe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ople d
o not wonder about
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museums
is the ch
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ange o
f
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revolotion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
tecnology
. On
the contrary,
Possible agreement error. The noun excursion seems to be countable; consider using: “a number of excursions”.
a number of excursion
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
could be
Possible spelling mistake found.
helpfull
for pe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ople.
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IELTS essay Fewer people today visit museums than in the past. Why is this? What can be done to encourage more people to visit museums in the future?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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